Brianna and Kenneth

The weekend in camera photos

2012-02-15T16:33:00.001-08:00

(this post is mostly an experiment in writing blog posts on my phone)

Mom had surgery on the 9th, (minor surgery, but still, surgery). Knowing my mom is about as bad at resting as I am, I thought it would be a good weekend to visit and try to keep mom from overdoing it. I'm not getting enough sleep these days to feel safe driving for 3 hours each way, so X and I went to Vancouver by train. It was Xavier's first train ride. And X's first time being away from daddy overnight. I took lots of pictures & videos so Kenneth could see what his boy was up to. These are out of order, but here's a little of what we did & saw.

Picking up pens when pregnant...

2012-02-13T13:47:00.000-08:00

Xavier's sleep has been regressing lately-- I'm getting less sleep now than I did when he was 3 weeks old, although now every once in a while he'll throw us a bone and sleep for a 4 hour block of time. And both Kenneth and I are at work now full-time. Talk about exhausting. Anyway, my creativitythese days is centered on finding creative ways to sleep more. But I have hilarious cousins who write blog posts that make me laugh. My cousin Ashley is VERY pregnant right now, and wrote this about picking up pens while pregnant. Enjoy.

Babies don't keep

2012-01-24T21:11:00.000-08:00

I like a clean home. Dishes done, clutter put away (or at least, out of the way), floors recently swept and vacuumed, bathroom surfaces sanitized and sparkling-- coming home to those things decreases my stress level. Conversely, coming home after work to a messy kitchen or a pile of laundry (or bills, or anything else) on the floor makes my stress level increase. I hate cleaning, and don't do it as often as I was raised to do, but still, coming home to a clean home instantly relaxes me when I walk in the door.

But time cleaning is time away from my baby, my husband, and my bed. (Because if I'm not spending time with them, I better be sleeping these days.) So, hard as it is, I'm trying to take this poem to heart... at least a little bit, at least for a little while. Because he and his daddy are more important.

"Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,

Empty the dustpan, poison the moth

Han out the washing and butter the bread

Sew on a button and make up a bed

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue

(Lullaby, rockabye, lullaby loo).

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due.

(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peak, peekaboo).

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew.

And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo.

But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.

Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?

(Lullaby, rockabye, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,

For children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down, cobwebs.

Dust go to sleep.

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep."

- Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Christmas

2011-12-28T23:15:00.000-08:00

Opening presents in our jammies. Every year, Kenneth's mom gives everyone a Christmas ornament, so naturally X's first ornament was a baby's first Christmas one.

A little Christmas tummy time with Juniper

Our family, 2011.

We did it with the self-timer, so this is one of 5 takes, but we managed to get 3 out of 4 of us looking at the camera. Whoo hoo!

Giving the blue steel look as he models his Christmas day ensemble. (Thanks, Grammie!)

X started giving real smiles. No laughs yet, but real, non-gassy, happy-to-see-you smiles. I wanted a real smile from X for Christmas, and I got it. :)

X's birth

2011-12-23T22:27:00.000-08:00

X's birth
Mom wrote up X's birth story and posted some pictures here and mom puts it eloquently, but here are some (less eloquent) additions:

The day before X was born: I've heard the day before you go into labor, a lot of women have a burst of energy and nesting, and a few women are more fatigued. I walked the dog and went to Michael's to pick up supplies to make X's baptism candle. And I was totally exhausted after those 2 things, which was odd since those 2 things weren't usually that much for me. I thought maybe the extra exhaustion meant labor was close... but it could just mean I was a woman who was 39, almost 40 weeks pregnant. Big deal. Later that night though, we had dinner with some friends, and on the way home I told Kenneth that something has changed... I couldn't explain what exactly, but I knew something was up. I just felt different.

39 wks

39.5 wks pregnant... I wanted to compare to this picture:

14? wks

ASHAMED TO ADMIT, BUT TRUE:
1. Before labor, my contractions were often regular, but never closer than 8 minutes apart, and they usually didn't come closer and closer together. So when my contractions went from 6 minutes apart to 4 minutes apart to 3 minutes apart from 6am-9am, and it became clear I was actually going into labor in the morning on my due date, one of my first thoughts was "HA! Michelle isn't the only Ellis woman who has babies on their due dates." With a 6am start to labor, I thought I'd have the baby by the end of the day. ---> This came back to haunt me when I was still in labor 24 hours later. D'oh!

2. At one point while I was in early labor (that is, when I was in pain, but still able to go for a walk with Kenneth and not put ALL of my concentration into getting through contractions) I actually said to Kenneth "Wow, if this is as bad as it gets in early labor, I don't understand the women who demand an epidural as soon as they arrive at the hospital. They must have really low pain thresholds." <---- Hahaha. Words that would come back to haunt me. When the hospital sent me home the 2nd time at 9pm, the nurse mentioned something about maybe sending me home with morphine so I would be able to sleep while I progressed more at home before I could be admitted. So when we came back to the hospital the 3rd time at 3am, and said I was almost at 4cm, my reaction was this: "OH! THANK GOD! Can I please have morphine now?" (It took at least 2 more hours before I got the epidural.)

what would've been 41 weeks

Things people told me about labor:
TRUE: "Any concept of modesty you once had goes out the window while you're in labor/after you have a baby." So true. After enough strangers see and poke around your nether regions, you stop caring. At least for that day.

FALSE: "The contractions only last for a minute or 2 at most, and there are 2 or 3 minutes between them so you have breaks. UNLESS you have pitocin or other drugs to intensify or start contractions." This I heard a lot from the natural childbirth fans. And this is false. False, false, false. I had 5-6 minute long contractions with just a few seconds between them during the hours that I pushed. Granted they had nice gradual build ups, but we were all sitting around waiting for the darn contraction to peak so I could push. After a while I felt like that wasn't doing any good and just pushed when I was close-ish to the peak, and then I just pushed 4 or 5 times until I felt I needed a break.

FALSE: "An epidural will slow your labor" and "If you have an epidural, you won't be able to EXPERIENCE birth." Ok, the first might be true-- I was at 6cm when I got the epidural. But I kept progressing right along, no problem. From hospital check-in to hitting 10cm was less than 7 hours. The epidural had no bad side effects as far as I can tell. And it made the c-section go quicker. As for it interfering with the experience, since I was actually able to pay attention to what was going on around me after the epidural, I'd say it helped me experience labor more-- I actually remember more from my time in the hospital once I got the epidural-- and I remember NOTHING from the time we got to my labor room to the time I got to the epidural.

Other things about the epidural:

We got the bill from the anesthesiologist yesterday--- crazy expensive (before insurance kicks in), and worth every stinkin' penny.
Mentally, I think of my labor process as pre-epidural/horrible, post-epidural/feeling happy, and OH NO! Epidural wearing off!!!! The epidural is basically how I remember what happened when during my labor. That is, there was the time where I was in pain, the time I wasn't in pain, and the time when the pain came back.

FALSE: "If you have a c-section, your milk won't come in and you won't have the initial rush of hormones to help you bond with the baby." False and false. I was on such a high after X was born. It lasted for days-- and I can now tell the difference between the post-birth hormonal high that bonded me to my son, and the bond I have with him now. And I'm feeding him just fine too.

He came out blue, but screaming-- and that was a beautiful sound.

Kenneth held X first, and then brought him to me so I could meet our little guy.

And also,

WEIRD: Introductions in the OR room. Once X's heart rate sunk to 80, and wouldn't come back up, the doctor gave us the option of a c-section or a vacuum assisted birth-- but either way the baby had to come out fast, and my previous 3 hours of pushing made it clear I wasn't going to get him out fast enough on my own. Kenneth and I talked over the risks of each with the doctor, and then Kenneth and I talked things over, and opted for the c-section. (More risks to me, less for the baby. Baby wins, obviously.) I don't think either of us have ever been so scared-- I was about to have surgery because our baby's life was in danger. So when we got to the OR room, and everyone started introducing themselves, it was bizarre on a few levels:
1. The only one in the room not wearing a mask was the one on the table. We won't be able to recognize you outside of this OR room, so why are you bothering to introduce yourself?
2. I already knew the midwife that assisted-- so why was she introducing herself again?
3. Most importantly-- HELLO! The baby is in trouble. Why are you wasting time with introductions and why haven't you started cutting me open yet? Between getting me to the OR room and getting the baby out, it took only about 10-15 minutes, but that still felt like a long, long time when you're worried about the safety of your kid.

Other weird things about the c-section:
1. Hearing the med student say "Can I do the staples?" (What? Why is the med student doing anything at all?)
2. Hearing "Almost done", looking up into the lights (which reflected what the OB and midwife were doing) and seeing they were not putting my skin together as expected, but were actually still working a little deeper... Ew.

(6 days later he was 20 inches, so the nurse measuring him said he was probably measured incorrectly at birth, so I've been going with 20 inches as his birth length)

Growing

2011-12-23T20:35:00.000-08:00

Birth day

2 weeks

7 weeks

7 weeks (lookin' cute, feelin' cute in my cloth gDiaper)

7 wks (this isjust a gas smile, but he's really close to happy smiles now)

(sometimes the photographer photo bombs the pictures)

Videos of X

2011-12-11T16:21:00.000-08:00

I figured out how to embed videos (not that it's hard, I just never bothered to look into it before), so here's a few videos of X so far. The good ones are the ones at the end where he rolls over, and if you missed it, there's video from his baptism too. (Just as a warning, the 2 baptism videos come to about 15 minutes total. Everything else here is much shorter than that.)

X in his first hour after we were brought to the recovery room:

I was going to post his first bath too, but realized he might not appreciate his little boy parts being shared with the internet when he's older. So imagine a cute naked baby in his Puj tub here.

Baptism part 1:

Baptism part 2

X rolling over for the first time at 5 wks:

X rolling over again today:

This sums up parenthood so far:

2011-12-10T15:12:00.000-08:00

Because not every day is easy... or maybe it's that no day is easy at this point. Because no matter how sick you are, mommies don't get sick days and there's nothing worse than being sick and taking care of a sick baby. Because some days, you just can't make a fussy baby happy. You just can't. And because nothing is as exhausting as a newborn ... And because that's the stuff that the old ladies that ogle your baby at the grocery store don't bring up. No one talks to new parents about just how hard the hard days are.

But even on those really awful days, the baby does something amazing. Like rolling over for the first time at 5 weeks old! Or something that makes us laugh, like the funny sounds he makes or the way his head (that he mostly holds up on his own now) is still pretty flopsy at times. Or something that makes us proud, like how well he behaved during his baptism. Or he gives us a little glimpse of the smile he'll someday show us-- oh man, is it going to be a cute one-dimpled one-- (but right now it's all still gas).

He gives us some reason to be more joyful and enjoy life more every day. Even on the bad days.

If...*

2011-11-13T20:26:00.000-08:00

So much to say, so little time... between visitors, feedings, sleeping, and just trying to stay up with everything at home. Someday, I'll write out what I remember about X's birth, and put more pictures of him up here, but until then, this will have to do...

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too:

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;

If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same:

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss:

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much:

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

*Kenneth read this to X the other day, and I'm not sure anything else sums up the man we hope X will be someday than this poem. The poem is If and it's by Rudyard Kipling.

Full term & Popping... again

2011-10-18T20:34:00.000-07:00

High fives all around! We made it to full term! Whoo-hoo! And, now my doctor joked about how ironic it would be if I ended up having to be induced. (Note: With the roller-coaster ride that the last few months have been, while I see the irony of it all, the idea that I might have to be induced is not that funny. We're ready for this baby to be out!) In the end, it seems my body likes to contract and wanted to get a really early head start and go very slowly with getting ready for labor; slow but steady.

In other news...

Mom has been worried that I haven't been looking big enough to be at full term. I think I am now.

32 wks

33 wks

34 wks

35 wks

36 wks

37 wks

38 wks

(Can you tell which of these pictures were taken while I was still on bed rest, and which were taken after I went back to work?)

Kenneth says that X now seems to think he's in a race. He's cozy in my belly and wants to stay there now, so he's trying to put on as much weight as possible before I go into labor. That way, he'll be too big to leave. (Apparently, X is not aware of C-sections.)

The shoe repair man, a trustworthy source with all things related to childbearing I'm sure, told me the other day that I was clearly having a boy, and I confirmed that was true. Then, today, he informed me that baby will arrive on Sunday, no later. We'll see if he's right...

P.S. If you haven't had a chance to yet, or we've neglected to send you the link, click here to join the baby pool and compete for the glory of being more all-knowing than the rest of us (including the shoe repair man)!

36 weeks!

2011-10-04T00:13:00.000-07:00

You too, could look this awesome in your sweats and just-out-of-the-shower hair if you spend 7 wks on bed rest!

36 weeks and off of bed rest!! Hooray!

Rewinding a bit, at my 32 week doctor visit, it turned out that my contractions have been productive after all (so not entirely Braxton-Hicks contractions, but real "let's get ready for labor!" contractions). Since I don't think everyone wants the details, suffice to say that if there are 20 steps of 3 different things that have to happen before or during labor, I was at step 5. This is normal if you're around 36 weeks pregnant... It is not normal at 32 weeks. Bed rest became a little more important at that point.

Today I had my 36 week appointment, and I'm still at step 5, with 1 thing going back from 2 to 0 since a month ago, and one thing going from 3 to 5. BUT-- this is normal for 36 weeks. I was so excited that I would have hugged the doctor if were on those terms, but I didn't think he would be ok with that. After 7 weeks of bed rest, I'm now off of bed rest, off of the medication, and I have the "ok" to start resuming activity as if this were a totally normal pregnancy-- because now it is!

Juniper turned 2

Juniper turned 2, so for her birthday, I made her a sugar free carrot & oatmeal cake with peanut butter/cinnamon/honey in the filling. She also got a trip to the dog park, a new rope toy, and a seat belt to wear in the car so she doesn't go flying on us or the baby if we're in the accident now. Lucky dog.

Ready for X!

X will be term next week, but there's nothing like being at risk for pre-term labor to motivate you to prepare early for baby's arrival. Over the last 2 months, we've fixed our cars, gotten vaccines, finished packing the hospital bag, bought post-partum supplies, finished buying the "must have for the 1st month" baby things off our registries, installed car seats, and started the process to donate X's cord blood. The only things left to do are complete the cord blood donation paperwork, finish stocking the freezer with some meals for post-partum, and get an oil change (that can wait until after X is born, but why not get it out of the way so we don't have to do it after he's born). That's it-- other than that, we're ready, and X can come any time after next Monday! Which means that starting Monday, I'll be drinking teas, going for long walks, and doing pretty much every old wives tale I've heard of to get X to arrive. Because truthfully, I'm really anxious about going past my due date when this baby has a head measuring 2 weeks ahead of the rest of his body.

Middle name?

One thing we aren't ready for is naming X. We love Xavier, so that's not changing. Our problem is the middle name. We're torn between 2 great names for his middle name. We both feel attached to the names, and we both feel like if we went with one of the names, we would later regret not giving him the other middle name. I'm ready to give him 2 middle names and avoid going without one-- why not? But after naming him Xavier, is it fair to give him 2 middle names on top of that? Plus, Kenneth isn't 100% sold on the idea of having 2 middle names. So, remember when we said we're taking bids on naming rights for his middle name? Well, that's still an option, too, if anyone's interested.

32 weeks!

2011-09-05T15:32:00.000-07:00

32 weeks, still pregnant!

On the scary day a few weeks ago, the doctor came into the room and started talking about what happens when babies are born at 28 weeks, and then said "but I'm confident we can get you to 32 weeks." But she was noncommittal about getting further than that. Well-- here we are at 32 weeks today, and my new doctor (the old one moved to Australia a week ago) is talking about 34 weeks as our next goal.

My doctor says to expect that I'll be on bed rest until I reach term. Not something I'm thrilled about, but it's REALLY nice to have an end date (even if it's further off than I was hoping for). When the doctor and I spoke last week, she lifted some of my restrictions though-- I'm allowed to help Kenneth with dishes & other household things, I'm allowed brief outings if I'm still spending 9 hours a day laying down, and I'm allowed to work from home (yay!) as long as I take breaks when my contractions come at 3+ an hour.

I see the doctor again on Wednesday, so hopefully I'll have more of an update then. Until then, YAY, 32 weeks!

Still on bed rest...

2011-08-26T14:26:00.000-07:00

I'm a bad news first/good news second person, so I'll get this out of the way first:

I'm still on bed rest. The doctors keep saying "stay on bed rest a few more days, and we'll check in at that point." A few days go by, I check in with them, and they say the same thing.

The medication seems to work in keeping my contractions around every 30-90 minutes, (which is down from about 9/hr on Tuesday, if we're going off the non-stress test rate-- the NST caught contractions I wasn't even aware I was having), but it hasn't stopped them completely. Luckily, the contractions aren't painful, even with my embarrassingly low pain tolerance. Some are more intense than others, some wrap all the way from my belly to around my back. The bad ones start with a hot flash before I feel the tightening and I find myself holding my breath until they pass-- but still, they aren't causing anything I would call pain. Thank God!

I'm trying really hard to keep a good attitude about bed rest, but it hasn't been easy. Bed rest seems like fun when you aren't pregnant, but really, it's not. It's boring, isolating, and for me-- frustrating. I'd rather be going to work, running errands, seeing friends, visiting family, doing things outside while it's summer, cooking, and getting the most I possibly can out of this time before becoming a mother.

The worst part: There's no scientific evidence that bed rest is even effective at preventing pre-term labor. I'm still doing what the doctors and nurses say to do, but it's hard to be enthusiastic about doing something that is prescribed because "it can't hurt." I'd rather be putting my energy into something that's been proven effective, rather than putting my faith in "it can't hurt," and "well, that's just what we say to do in these situations." If you're actually interested, here's what I've been reading on this: this article from the Chicago Tribune, this from the New York Times, this from March of Dimes, this from the Mayo Clinic, and-- a little less hard-hitting, but this I've also read this from Parents Magazine, and this from BabyCenter.

On to better things--

One upside from this has been the additional ultrasounds we've been doing last week and this week. They aren't quite as fun now because he's too big to get a good shot of any particular body part. And anyway, right now, they're more focused on checking to see if his kidneys are functioning and his blood flow is good than on getting good shots of adorable little noses and toes. (Happy for his kidneys to work and all, but I just don't get quite as excited about kidneys as I do looking at his face or his hands.) But we could see that so far, all X's organs are doing fine. The contractions have had zero effect on him-- he's still as active as ever with no change in heart rate. He's now flipped & in birthing position, and he's practice breathing now-- both of which earned him "lots of points" from the ultrasound tech. And not surprisingly, the tech also said his diaphragm is well developed. (He's gotten that comment on his diaphragm from every tech & doctor who's seen his ultrasound since he was 12 weeks along.)

And, bed rest isn't awful all the time. On nice days, I've tried to spend an hour or so laying down by our apartment complex pool. I'm on modified bed rest-- so I'm allowed to go on brief outings in town, to take the dog outside to do her business, etc. as long as I'm still spending 9 hours a day laying down. Getting outside helps with the cabin fever... and it makes me feel like I'm able to enjoy a little bit of our fleeting Seattle summer.

Quick update

2011-08-21T18:41:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm still on bed rest through Monday or Tuesday.

I'm still having contractions, but they've slowed down to about 1-3 an hour. The doctor is still concerned by the fact that I'm having contractions, but the fact that they're spread out more is a good sign. The lab tests ruled out an infection, so we still don't know why I'm having contractions. (But I'm happy to come off the antibiotics. Blech!)

So, I'll go in for an ultrasound Monday or Tuesday to make sure the contractions aren't starting labor. If the ultrasound shows no signs of labor, then I might come off of bed rest! Yippee!

Numbers and Bed rest

2011-08-19T10:42:00.000-07:00

25: Number of contractions I had on Monday
90: percentage certainty I felt that the contractions were just dehydration
10: Time I started a non-stress test at my doctor's office on Tuesday
3: Number of contractions I had in 20 minutes
117: Lowest heart rate measured for X during my 1st non-stress test on Tuesday (some cause for concern, but now seems to be just a fluke)
140-160: X's heart rate 99.9% of the time, even during a contraction (which is excellent, and a reason to think X is handling contractions like a champ)
3: pounds X currently weighs
2.5: pounds most babies weight at that point... my son is a big boy. And bigger babies have better chances when born early.
1.5: weeks ahead that his head is measuring (in other words, he's got a big head. D'oh!)
12:40: Time I started talking to my doctor after several more tests
0: Amount I'm dilating (this is GREAT news--- it means I am very unlikely to deliver within a week of taking that measurement-- anything more would be, well, bad.)
29: Weeks gestation I'm currently at
32: Weeks gestation my doctor is "confident we'll get to"
37: Weeks gestation my doctor is "hopeful we'll get to" (this is considered full-term)

1: (pound) weight at birth required for some expectation of survival

90: percentage survival rate for babies born at 29 wks, but with significant long term complications

Extremely high: survival rate for babies born at 32 weeks

Extremely low: chance of long-term complications for babies born at 32 weeks.

0: Expectations I had for having that conversation with my doctor on Tuesday
1: (Hour) time I was given to go home, eat, and pack an overnight bag before I had to be checking in at the hospital
5.5: Hours spent in the hospital Tuesday
24: Hours I was supposed to spend in the hospital (yay for being discharged early!)
1: Shot of Turbutaline given to stop contractions
4: Rating I gave the contraction I experienced just before I got my shot of Turbutaline (most I've had are 1 or 1.5)
2: Number of contractions I had after I had the shot of Turbutaline, over the course of 5 hours
3: Number of tries the nurse made to get my IV in place (3rd time's the charm)
1.25: Liters of fluids I got while hooked to the IV. Fun.
5: Number of visitors I had at the hospital (lucky me!)
5: Days I was told to go on bed rest
2: Times a day I have to take a pill that is supposed to stop contractions
4: Times a day I have to take an antibiotic in case an infection is the culprit behind the contractions (Crossing fingers that's all it is behind this craziness-- never thought I'd say "I sure hope I have an infection" before.)
9: hours a day I'm supposed to spend in bed, light activity and 1 short outing a day permitted in between 3 hour blocks of time in bed.
3/3: Days Ken has been home with me while I've been on bed rest
22: Hours my mom spent with me while I was in the hospital/first morning at home
5: Meals my mom made or bought for us while she was here (thanks, Mom!)
0: Amount of money Virgin America Airlines charged me to cancel my flight to California when I told them I couldn't fly because I'd been put on bed rest
259: Amont of money they credited my account (the full price of the ticket I couldn't use)
1: New huge fan of Virgin America Airlines
18: Contractions I had Wednesday (1st day on bed rest)
19: Contractions I had on Thursday
5: Contractions I've had so far today
1: Contraction I'm currently experiencing
100: Percentage I'm ready to be done with this contraction/bed rest business
5: Meals Kenneth has brought me in bed or on the couch (Lunch yesterday: Black bean burgers with cheddar-- yum! Breakfast this morning: Waffles with cinnamon butter, veggie sausage, and eggs)
2: Times each day he brings me a new, cold, full water bottle
1: Fantastic husband taking over household -- everything-- while I'm on bed rest
1: Lucky wife (me)

Trying to look on the bright side of things:
1. Even if I'm on bed rest until I get to term, that's only 7 more weeks (and I know women who have been on bed rest for most of their pregnancies). We'll need a game plan, but even in worst case scenario 7 wks seems do-able
2. Worst case scenario-- if pre-term labor can't be stopped, we're far enough along that while there would be a long stay in the NICU and other unpleasant things, X has an excellent chance of surviving and thriving.
3. X is incredibly healthy and handling this well. He's a big, healthy, active little guy and that's a really good thing for now.
4. I'm starting to figure out what the contraction triggers are: stress--even incredibly mild amounts, and any movement that uses stomach muscles-- like going from laying down to sitting up, sitting up to standing up, etc.
5. We find out today if it's just an infection, and if that's the case, this will all blow over as soon as the infection clears up. Then I'll be back to a normal, low-risk pregnancy. Cross your fingers that's the case!

Quick update, in list form

2011-08-05T09:09:00.000-07:00

1. Our mom's families threw us baby showers. Yay! Between the showers and our friend Dana, who gave us some of her son's outgrown clothes (thanks, Dana & family!), X is now (we think) all set for clothing until he reaches about the 9 month size. (PS-- these were family only showers, so don't be offended if you weren't invited.)

H family shower

A cupcake, with X on it!

And the E family shower.

I forgot to bring my camera. Oops. But my cousin Patty and my mom both posted pictures on their blogs, so check them out here and here. This shower was a joint one for my sister and I (she's due 4 wks before me)... thrown by my cousin Michelle & my mom.

This was actually more of a family reunion BBQ with a shower intermission. My sister Sara flew up for the shower, and we hung out pretty late with cousins after almost everyone else left. I actually had to leave at 11:00 pm to meet up with friends for late night coffee-- and felt really bad. (I expected the family BBQ/shower to be over by 10.) But that's how awesome it was-- my cousins, their spouses, my parents, and my sisters are really fun to hang out with.

I had to steal this picture from Mom's facebook. Contrary to what the evidence seems to show, I was actually 20 wks pregnant at the time. I just didn't stand at the right angle for it to be obvious. This picture is of me and the other pregnant ladies there-- my sister and Michelle.

2. Speaking of Michelle, she had her baby Wednesday-- on his due date! (She's now 2 for 2 with having babies on their due dates!) She's hilarious, and a faithful blogger. (Blogging the birth story from the hospital HOURS after he was born!) So check out her blog post on her baby's birth. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll try to nominate her for a Pulitzer (or whatever they give out for blog posts).

3. Kenneth climbed Mt. Rainier. Well, almost. He got sick a few thousand feet from the summit and had to turn back. Here are some pictures:

4. Baby updates...

My hunch is that X is going to arrive on or before November 1. Somewhere in week 39 maybe. We'll see if I'm right, but that's what my gut keeps saying. (I've probably now jinxed it and X is going to come at 42 wks. Bah.)
Apparently mothers who consumed a large quantity of nuts during their pregnancy (i.e. nuts or a nut product everyday) increase their child's risk of developing asthma by 50%. Guess what I have for breakfast everyday? Peanut butter on toast. At 7 months pregnant, the damage is probably already done, so I'm planning to continue eating peanut butter on toast. Sorry about the asthma, X! At least I haven't given you fetal alcohol syndrome or something worse!
X has been kicking for a while now. Kenneth has felt them now, and he's even seen the kicks from the outside! So bizarre, and yet so cool!
I don't have gestational diabetes! Hooray! But here's the thing about the test-- everyone warns you about how nasty the drink you have to have is. But no one told me about how hard it would be to fast for 12 hours while pregnant. Or having my blood drawn 3 times (I thought it was just twice.) That was no fun at all!
We've been re-organizing our apt for the last 2 months. We're staying in our 700sq ft apt, so we're making space for baby things. Our apt now looks like it has been furnished by Ikea, but it gets the job done. We have a few things to take to Goodwill, and a few things to put in storage, but other than that, we're all set. Pictures of what it looks like to cram 2 adults, a big dog, and a baby in 700sq ft to follow. I'm actually kind of proud of how it turned out-- we made it work!
We now have all the ABSOLUTELY necessary baby things-- car seats, bassinet/crib, clothes, diapers, and food source (me). We need to get more diapers and more odds & ends, but if heaven forbid, X were to arrive tomorrow, the amt of scrambling we'd have to do is pretty minimal. We've even started packing our hospital bag! (Ok, full disclosure-- it has 2 pairs of loose, old sweat pants for me and 4 going home from the hospital outfits for X. But it's a start!)
We're signed up for childbirth classes, a hospital tour, and a car seat safety class. Kenneth took a class called "Conscious Fathering" last night. On a related note-- Kenneth has been great during this pregnancy. He lets me whine when my back aches or when I was feeling nauseous, brought me breakfast in bed most days during my 1st trimester, and he's been there for every doctor visit I've asked him to go to. Pregnancy isn't easy, even with an amazing partner, so I have a new appreciation for the women who don't have the support of their partner during their pregnancies.
Nothing is official yet, but we think X's baptism will be Thanksgiving weekend so we can sneak it in just under the wire, before Advent starts. (A lot of Catholic churches won't do baptisms during Advent). But we still need to decide on X's godparents and whether he'll be baptized at the church where we got married, at Kenneth's family's church, or somewhere else entirely.

5. We've got an exciting month ahead of us-- a trip to the beach! a trip to CA for my dad's 50th birthday! Kenneth turns 30! A visit from my stepsister! Great-great-aunt-Grace turns 99! Not the best picture of her, but she really does make 98/99 look good.

4th of July

2011-07-11T22:01:00.000-07:00

Every year, Kenneth's mom's family gathers at his grandpa's beach house on the 4th of July. It's a big family, so there are people everywhere, and there's often a line for the bathroom. The house is pretty rustic-- it was never meant to be used so often or by so many people. But the tradition of gathering as a family each 4th of July makes it a very special place all the same.

24 week picture. X just keeps getting bigger.

Some of the family at our spot on the beach. (Later that day, when the tide was in, the fire was put out by the waves. When it's high tide, it's really high tide.)

Juniper spent lots of time playing with Henry, a chocolate lab puppy--the new addition to Kenneth's aunt & uncle's household. This was Henry's first time in the water, so Juniper was supposed to teach him how to play fetch. Unfortunately, he got distracted and wandered off down the beach with Kenneth's uncle running after him.

Kenneth used his eagle scout skills to help save fire #2 after the 1st one was covered by water. Unfortunately, we had to head home before we got to enjoy the s'mores made by the fire. Or many of the fireworks. But it was still a great weekend and a great day with family.

Sticking to my guns

2011-07-01T14:05:00.000-07:00

The pictures have nothing to do with the post. But isn't Juniper funny?

I'm finally starting to get to the point that I'm obviously pregnant. You know how when you think someone might be pregnant, but you're not sure and don't want to be rude just in case they happen to just be putting on weight, so you don't say anything? I guess it's obvious enough that I'm pregnant, not possibly-maybe-could be just putting on some weight, because I've had 2 work acquaintances (volunteers) say this week after taking one look at me "Oh my gosh! You're pregnant!" After which, they start rubbing my belly (without asking-- yikes!-- not sure how to politely avoid the belly-touching. Family and friends who ask first = no problem. Strangers and acquaintances just grabbing my belly = weird). Anyway, next, inevitably comes the question my co-workers and those who volunteer or serve as Elders with the church ask next...

"So what's your plan? Are you coming back to work, or...?"

I'm not sure if this is a pretty normal question to get as a pregnant woman-- even now, when most moms work outside the home in the US, or if I get it more often because the culture at work (co-workers and the congregation) is full of stay-at-home-moms and moms who work part-time. Chances are, if your husband works for Microsoft or any of the other tech companies in the area, you can get by just fine or better than fine with one income or 1 1/2 incomes-- and that's the case with a lot of people in the city I live/work in. So it's understandable that people ask. But either way, my impression is that a lot of people assume that I'll be quitting my job or cutting back on my hours. So, usually I find myself answering by making justifications and lengthy explanations on our decision for me to continue working full-time after I return from maternity leave.

And then I realized yesterday what I was doing. I'm trying to prevent these people from judging me and our parenting decisions by rationalizing, justifying, and explaining our decision. Kenneth-- he doesn't usually do this, but around almost everything that I know is seemingly controversial or bucks others' assumptions, I find myself doing justifying our choices.

But that's the thing. The fact is that whether our kid has a parent at home raising him full time, or whether we choose to send him to a daycare or hire a nanny, whether I have a midwife or an OB delivering me, or whether we choose any number of other "controversial" decisions as parents, it shouldn't matter to anyone. Our kid is going to grow up with 2 parents who are involved in his life, love him, provide for him, and prioritize raising him to be a considerate, responsible, productive member of society. If we fail in doing any of that-- then sure, someone should point that out, and we should listen and possibly change what we're doing. But those should be the only things that matter to anyone else-- if we're doing that, then we're doing our job as parents.

While I'm sure over the coming years, there are going to be lots of things that I resolve to do, not to do, or do better as a parent, here's what I'm going to start with. I'm going to stick to my guns. No rationalizations-- for anything-- necessary. Hopefully Kenneth will keep me accountable so I can break this habit, but it wouldn't hurt if you guys helped too. :)

(P.S. Pictures from shower #1 with the Ellises and other more fun stuff coming soon. But I have to grab photos from Ken's computer, etc.)

Popping + anatomy scan ultrasound

2011-06-13T23:09:00.000-07:00

13 weeks

17 weeks (and this is after a HUGE breakfast)

19 weeks

20 weeks

Oh, hello baby bump. You've officially arrived.

********************

We had our last official ultrasound on Friday, and Kenneth and Kenneth's mom were there for it. He showed us his boy parts--- it was very obvious; even if we hadn't wanted to know it couldn't have been helped-- he wanted to show off. The other fun part was seeing him suck his thumb. I teared up because it made things all that more real to see X doing something babies outside of the womb do ... Kenneth was asking if this was normal, and if it meant we were going to have to wean him off the thumb later.

The also checked him out to make sure all parts were there and in good working order-- and the good news is that everything looked great. They checked his brain, heart, lungs, spine, and then measured his head, brain, and chest circumference, and the length of his femurs-- and everything was perfect. 2 arms, 2 legs, 10 fingers, 10 toes. It was pretty amazing getting a sneak peek at him. Oh, and apparently he now weighs 10oz... based on my current size, I would've guessed he was closer to a pound by now, but apparently not. (Btw-- 10oz is exactly where a 19.5 wk baby should be.)

Anyway--- pictures. I think he has Kenneth's nose and my feet based off the pictures, but we'll see.

This one is squarely on his face. (Turn your head to the right to see it.) Usually they only pick up bone and tissue, but they even picked up the lens of his eye on this one. And his mouth is open. The result is a Terminator looking baby. Yikes!

FOOT! A teeny little 3.5 centimeter foot!

Lessons learned since becoming pregnant

2011-05-27T15:40:00.000-07:00

1. People -- strangers or friends-- have opened up more than I ever thought possible as soon as they found out I'm pregnant. Sometimes it's horrifying, and sometimes it's heart-warming, but it always surprises me how all of a sudden the comfort level people have with me changes.
2. At some point I felt like I must watch a birth video. After all, this is going to happen to me, right? I should know what I'm in for. This was a terrible, terrible idea.
3. I may have lived a life mostly without body issues before. (And for that, I am truly grateful.) That time is now over... I definitely have body issues now.
4. Maternity leave: Are there any more stressful words? Prepping for maternity leave is currently a more stressful idea than birth. Not as frightening, but more stressful.
5. On a related note, United States maternity leave laws are downright shameful. We should be better than this. And that's comparing it to what we in MUN used to call "less developed countries" like Angola and El Salvador. Don't even get me started on what the US is like compared to Europe-- it's enough to make you pack your bags for Scandinavia and renounce your US citizenship. Check out this table on Wikipedia and you'll see what I mean. Anyone else want to join me as I write a letter to my congressman, both senators, and the president?
6. Morning sickness: it's just not for the first trimester.
7. Babies are expensive...starting with the first prenatal visit. Talk about sticker shock.
8. The first ultrasound, the first heart beat you hear, the first movement-- there's nothing like it. Absolutely nothing. It seems like those things are the ways God shows me that the morning sickness, the doctor appointments, the tests, the financial planning, the new apartment searching, the new aches and sore areas, the ways it's pushed me outside my comfort zone... all of that is worth it.

And since I haven't posted these yet, here are Baby X's 12 wk ultrasound pictures-- lips! nose! brain and eyes! spine! and those blips above him-- those are his arms and legs moving around!

We went to Ireland...

2011-05-20T23:53:00.000-07:00

After dropping our luggage off at the hotel in Dublin, we dragged our travel-weary bodies to the Guinness Storehouse and brewery. We ended the visit there with a pint of Guinness and the best views of Dublin at the Gravity Bar. (Well, pint for Kenneth... I got only a few sips.)

Back in the 1700s, Arthur Guinness signed a lease with the city of Dublin to use a few hundred acres of land to brew beer. The lease was for 9,000 years at 45 pounds per year. Obviously, Guinness isn't likely to move operations elsewhere any time soon. The lease is the picture above.

The next day we visited Kilmainham Gaol, a debtor's prison until the late 1800s, and in the years leading up to and during the fight for independence from England, the prison where political prisoners were kept. The conditions were terrible-- 5 people to a cell, cold, damp, and dark. Makes you wonder why anyone ever broke a law then. Touring it wasn't exactly romantic, but it did give us a better idea of the history of the country we were in. The chapel above is where the prisoners were given last rites before being pushed out the doors behind the alter to be hanged.

The Jameson Distillery wasn't as fun as the Guinness Brewery. It was a little too cartoony and Disneyland-esque. Definitely a disappointment, but there was free whiskey (for Ken) at the end.

Kilkenney Castle, in Kilkenney, where we stopped on our way to Waterford. We should have stopped there rather than going to Waterford. Waterford was totally disappointing, except for the crystal factory, which was very cool.

They don't make anything here anymore besides prestige pieces (trophies, very special/very expensive orders) and special orders of archived designs, but that means they have their very best artisans there. They're apprentices for 10 years before they start cutting pieces for sale, they don't use templates. And everything Waterford makes (in Waterford or elsewhere) is handmade. Look at that guy engraving up there... no gloves, no templates, and every cut precise.

We stopped here, at the Rock of Cashel or St. Patrick's Rock on the way to Dingle from Waterford. St. Patrick baptized a pagan king here, and that's when most of Ireland became Catholic. Up on that hill is a cathedral, the archbishop's castle, and other buildings where church officials lived.

This is the cross that marked the spot where St. Patrick baptized the king. It had been outside for 1000+ years, but they brought it into the museum on the hill to protect it. Then they put a replica outside.

Scene from on top of the Rock of Cashel.

Scenes from Dingle. We LOVED Dingle and spent 3 nights there. It's a small town (1000+) on a peninsula on the west coast of the island. The people there are native Gaelic (Irish) speakers, but everyone speaks English too. Kind of like Quebec. Anyway, we loved Dingle because this is where we actually started to feel like we were actually in Ireland-- interacting with Irish people, experiencing the Irish countryside, etc.

While we were in Dingle, we took 2 day trips driving around the Dingle peninsula, and then we did the Ring of Kerry the following day. The Ring of Kerry is a lot more popular, but I don't get why. Dingle was much more beautiful.

We decided to slow down a bit while we were in Dingle. We opted out of going to Northern Ireland except for Belfast (though we still weren't able to get there on the day we planned for it). Instead we spent more time in Dingle and planned for a couple of rest days in Dublin before heading home... anyway, pictures from the Dingle Peninsula...

SHEEP!

I don't know if you can tell from the picture, but the water in some areas was the same crystal greeny-blue that you see in Hawaii. I thought the sun had to be strong enough and the water shallow enough to create that color and clarity in ocean water, but apparently not. It was beautiful.

On our "self-guided tour" of the Dingle Peninsula, Rick Steves directed us to an old church down an isolated lane. This didn't look right, but we stopped anyway and started walking around. When we got to the back, there was a sign that said "Private Property! Go AWAY!" Oops. (I'm pretty sure only squatters lived there considering the condition of the place, but it was still enough for us to hightail it out of there.)

Ring of Kerry

We stopped for tea at a REALLY fancy hotel. It was the fanciest place Rick Steves has ever sent us to. We were a bit unprepared to be surrounded by 70 year old Englishmen in suits reading the newspaper before they left for the golf course. Not while we were wearing REI clothes designed for travel... (um, in other words, we were not fancy.) It was a nice little stop though.

The Roaming Gnome... yes, we brought him with us, and we still did the whole trip with just a carry-on sized suitcase each.

St. Bridget's Well. I don't remember what St. Bridget did here, but I wanted to visit because I was born on St. Bridget's day... I'm Irish, etc. etc. The walls of this little cave are lined with mementos people have left while praying there for a miracle.

If the water didn't look so septic, I might have touched it and made a little sign of the cross on myself. But I couldn't do it. I was afraid of picking up a disease. Ew.

We stopped at the Cliffs of Moher on our way from Dingle to Westport. We went to Westport, the biggest town in County Mayo and on the northwest coast of the island, since Ken's great-grandparents emigrated from County Mayo to Montana (so his grandma was 100% Irish). Westport was nice, but it was no Dingle.

Back in Dublin, we went to the breakfast place we should've visited all along. Everywhere else we went, our breakfast options were a pastry or the "full Irish"-- Full Irish means sausage, Irish bacon, eggs (fried, unless you asked for something else, and the eggs were always served on top of toast), brown bread, grilled tomatoes, black and/or white pudding. Basically, grease with a side of grease. Not easy when you're still dealing with morning sickness. This place though had variety. It was lovely. (Sidenote: I plan NOT to have eggs for breakfast for the next month.)

Also-- I went to Italy and came back determined to learn to make my own pasta. And with a newfound love for pecorino. I came back from Ireland with a love for brown bread and butter from grass fed cows. The bread is nutty, hearty, and wholesome. The butter everywhere in Ireland was creamy and had a richer color too. Yum.

Last day in Dublin, walking home from the trendy part of town, where we had our last Irish dinner.

Question 9: Have you had any weird cravings?

2011-04-29T22:45:00.000-07:00

For the most part, aside from food aversions & things that taste differently than they used to*, my eating has fallen into a several categories:

things I eat because they make my stomach feel better (mashed potatoes, crackers, toast-- anything carb-heavy)
things I'm supposed to eat it more because I'm pregnant (spinach, berries, nuts, eggs & anything else with protein)
things I eat because the alternative sounds awful or I can't have whatever the alternative is
things I eat because it sounds delicious-- in other words, things I'm craving

Cravings haven't been too strange-- mostly I just want salt or salty things. And when I say salty, I mean so salty you're licking the salt off your fingers, then using your still moist finger to pick up the salt in the bag. (It's embarrassing to admit that, but oh well, it's the truth.) There have also been random days where I can't stop thinking about pineapple, baked potatoes, toast with butter, quesadillas, or anything with BBQ sauce. But none of those are things that seemed strong enough or strange enough (for me) to be a true stereotypical pregnancy craving.

Then, we went to Costco the other night, and knowing there would be no time for making dinner at home, we ate at Costco. Lacking other options that I felt totally confident were pregnancy safe, I opted for a slice of the combo pizza. Then, when walking to our table, I passed by the condiment stand, and inspiration struck:

That is my pizza with deli style mustard squeezed all over it.** Kenneth was horrified and took pictures on his phone. I realized how odd it was and took a picture myself and sent it to Sara. But let me say this: The sour and spice the mustard added to the pizza was AMAZING! Delicious! So much so that after I took this picture, I went back and squirted more mustard on.

I'm not sure that I would ever put mustard on pizza again, because it does seem pretty odd. But at least I won't be marveling at my own cravings next time as I do something like pour ketchup on scones or BBQ sauce on birthday cake.

*Butternut squash... I miss you so much! But you're much too sweet for me now. I just can't handle it.

**I could have doctored it up a little so that it wasn't quite so horrible looking (I know, who wants to see a half-eaten slice of pizza?), but I think the picture as-is makes the bizarre condiment all the more pronounced.

Question 7 & 8: How are you feeling? Have you been taking care of yourself?

2011-04-28T12:19:00.000-07:00

How are you feeling?
So far pregnancy hasn't been terrible. I've had nausea, but for the most part haven't had any real morning sickness. I had my first (so far only) bout of put-you-out-of-comission-all-morning morning sickness at 11.5 wks, and the nausea has been stronger since then, but still mostly manageable. I've been tired a lot, but it seems to be more related to not sleeping well than pregnancy. (Maybe it's both?) I try to be thankful because I know it's been a lot easier than the pregnancies of other people I know.

Have you been taking care of yourself? Have you been taking vitamins, etc?
This one has been coming from parents, mostly. Tempting as it is to answer this one sarcastically ("You betcha. I've been taking my vitamins with some really runny eggs benedict and a bloody mary every other morning..."), I actually have been doing all those things you're supposed to do. Which, I've come to discover, is a lot. Just to get my head wrapped around it, I wrote everything that I've had to change or continue doing (even if I'm too tired) since baby, and it's a pretty hefty list:

Take prenatal vitamin, DHA supplement, calcium chew daily.
Drink at least 64oz water daily
Exercise (really hard to do daily; usually 3-4 times/week: Zumba, yoga, walking. Also hard because my heart rate is higher than usual and I've had a hard time getting/staying in the right zone)

Also on exercise-- before, never cared about things like overheating or rehydrating. Now I do.

No alcohol, runny eggs, artificial sweeteners (except those in my calcium chews), deli meat, cured meats (I don't entirely remember what the rule was on this one, so I've been avoiding it altogether for now), moldy or unpasteurized cheese, big fish with high or even moderate mercury/other toxin levels, or caffeine (ok, I never have caffeine anyway).
Limiting my intake of fish in general (not that I consumed tons before, but now I actually have to pay attention.
When buying processed foods, (because I don't have the energy for as much from-scratch cooking as I used to) I've been choosing the option that has the shortest ingredient list and fewest number of chemicals and substances I can't pronounce.
Eating way more protein, fruits and veggies, rather than my favorite carbs, and when possible I buy organic if it fits our budget.
Eating more in general, because I'm supposed to, but also because it's the best way to keep my nausea under control. But also not eating too much because I know I'm not actually eating for 2.

Frequently heard comment: You don't even look pregnant

2011-04-27T22:44:00.000-07:00

Besides asking about cravings (which took a sudden change for the weird this week, I'll explain in another post), one surprisingly common reaction from my coworkers, upon finding out about my pregnancy, is "But you don't even look pregnant." Seriously-- heard this 4 times yesterday! I've been feeling for weeks like my pregnancy was OBVIOUS just by looking at my belly, but apparently there are some who disagree. This I'm chalking up to one of several things:

My coworkers being super nice and trying to make me feel good about the changes my body is going through, which is dishonest, but kind of them.
My coworkers being utterly honest -- they really don't think I look pregnant. And if my coworkers can't tell that I've gained weight or that that weight is concentrated in one particular area of my torso, who am I to complain?
I just haven't spent enough time showing off my changed profile at work and when people tell me this, they're looking straight at my belly rather than my profile.
My coworkers see me during the day, not at the end of the day, when my belly and bladder are full from a full day of eating and drinking.

I think it's the last one.

Exhibit A:

April 25/Day 1 of Week 13, just before heading to work

Exhibit B:

April 27/Day 3 of Week 13, just before bedtime.

Trust me, my belly didn't become that much more prominent in the space of 48 hours. It's the same story every single day. Nice little baby bump in the morning... "Whoa, that belly is large and in charge" in the evening.

Is this normal?

Question 5 & 6?: Are you hoping for a boy or girl? & What names are you thinking about?

2011-04-27T17:00:00.000-07:00

Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?
Not to be a smug pregnant woman, but we really didn't care whether baby is a boy or a girl. We just want a healthy baby. Everything else is secondary. That said, we had a hunch that the baby was a boy. Since we we had those genetic tests done, they were easily able to see baby's gender. Baby Hanks is a boy!

What names have you picked out?

We're strongly leaning towards naming him Xavier, but we're still taking bids from anyone who would like to give him his middle name. Currently, the highest bid is from Kenneth's brother with $100 for Ezekiel. Other bids have been Ruprecht (at $50) and Manuel (at $0) ... get it, X-man? Any other ideas for Baby X's middle name?

Question 3 & 4: How far along are you? When is baby due?

2011-04-25T17:00:00.000-07:00

How far along are you?
By standard measurements, we're 13 weeks as of today. That's the short, standard answer. The more accurate answer is somewhere at the end of the 1st trimester or early in the 2nd trimester. (My friend Dana explains why figuring out the whole weeks/months of pregnancy is confusing here. Basically, pregnancy isn't 10 months, or even 9 months, but should actually be calculated as somewhere in between.)

In the end, I think development milestones and due dates are ballparks. Baby will develop at the pace baby is supposed to develop at. Baby will come out when baby is ready, which will hopefully be sometime at the end of October or early November.

(12 wks shot again... because I'm writing this while resting Saturday (STILL!). And come Monday when this post goes up, I'm probably going to be too busy to have uploaded and edited my 13 wk picture from this morning, let alone replaced this filler shot with it.)

When are you due?

"Ok," you say, "that's all well and good, but I like concrete facts. All this talk of 'ballparks' and subtleties of calculating due dates is too much for me. I'm asking you how far along you are because I want to know when you're going to be HUGE and when baby is likely to arrive."

Alright then. Due date is officially Halloween 2011. Here's hoping baby actually comes then, because I think Halloween would be an AMAZING day for a birthday. The kid will have the most incredible birthday parties!

Imagine...

Question 2: Why didn't you tell me sooner?!

2011-04-24T11:07:00.000-07:00

We kept it a secret for a long time because we wanted to know baby was going to stick around before we announced. I have a genetic condition that doesn't affect me, but basically makes me a carrier for a very serious genetic condition that usually results in miscarriages in the 1st trimester. (This condition isn't something minor like Down's Syndrome or Cystic Fibrosis). We wanted to be sure baby was ok before we announced.

We had genetic testing done last Wednesday. The test (called CVS if you're curious) was pretty brutal, painful, and uncomfortable, and they had to do it twice... I could go into details, but let's just say it was a lot like what I imagine birth to be like, except I know birth will probably be 10x worse. I was put on bed rest for 24 hours, and then had to stay off my feet as much as possible for another 3 days. And when they say stay off your feet, they mean it. (I got a little talking-to by a nurse when she found out that around hour 50 post-CVS I took the dog for a .5 mile walk around our apartment complex and made dinner.)

Anyway, we got results 24 hrs after the test was done. As for results:

What we were hoping for/great results: 46 chromosomes

What we would be happy with/good results: 45 chromosomes

What we were afraid of /very bad, scary results: 47 chromosomes

They called Thursday after the test with the results... these aren't them, but they look like this. 46 perfect chromosomes. Yay!

You may be asking...

2011-04-23T11:06:00.000-07:00

Or, as Michelle called it, Baby FAQs.

But since some questions are more complicated than others, I'm going to break this up into a few smaller posts. Maybe as more people find out we'll get some more questions I can throw out there.

Question 1:

"Wait!? You're pregnant!? When did you find out?" (Also known as "How long have you been keeping this a secret from me/us?" and sometimes accompanied with "Are you sure you're pregnant?"): We were shocked when we had our first sign that I might be pregnant February 18, when baby was just a wee little thing at 3 wks 4 days. I took a test a couple of days later to confirm, and even that early the tests were positive. So, we have been keeping this a secret for about 9.5 wks. As for the "Are you sure you're pregnant?" question-- Between having every symptom in the book (to varying degrees, mostly not too bad) and 3 ultrasounds at 9 wks, 10.5, and 12.5 wks, yeah, we're pretty sure there's a baby in there.

Anyway, here is Juniper helping me tell her dad that she's going to be a big sister, and he's going to be a dad (to a human child, not a furry one.... we hope.):

So, the rumors are true...

2011-04-22T18:13:00.000-07:00

Good news travels fast it seems. We "went public" with the exciting news just yesterday, so we haven't had a chance to tell everyone yet, and mom kind of "scooped" us on facebook (fair enough though, we told her it's not a giant secret now). So here's confirmation... the rumors are true.

February 20, 2011

April 18, 2011

"Pshaw," you might say. "Brianna's just getting thicker around the middle. I develop food babies all the time and you don't see me posting pictures on my blog"

Well, here's some month-old proof that that isn't just a food belly I've been developing:

(As this child's mother, I'd like to mention again that this is a month old picture. We saw evidence on Wednesday that baby has, since the time this picture was taken, developed long arms and legs, a bladder, lips, a nose, and according to the doctor, a very impressive diaphragm that was visible across the room.)

More details later...

(I can't come up with a good title for this...)

2011-02-07T22:00:00.000-08:00

My grandpa passed away on Sunday...

He was in the last stage of Parkinson's disease. He had been declining steadily over the last year, and in January, he started a hospice program. I started making plans to visit him the 2nd weekend of the month... it seemed like there would be enough time to put my trip off that long.

Last Tuesday (my birthday), my dad called to say that I should change my travel plans, and come to California to see him as soon as possible. His pain from severe muscle cramping (PD related) had become very bad, and the medication he was starting to take would cause him to be mostly unconscious. On top of that, he had started showing signs of dementia. Later that week, his pain worsened, his breathing became more labored, his kidneys started to shut down. He was moved from home to a hospice facility to better manage his pain. Calls went out that the end was coming faster than expected, and the family gathered at the hospice facility late Friday night/early Saturday morning as they arrived from southern California. He was somewhat alert then, when his pain medication wore off. He'd talk (as much as someone with stage 5 PD can; it's hard to form words at that point, so my aunt, his caregiver, interpreted)... but after 10-15 minutes, he'd say his pain was worse and ask for more medication. The medication would make him sleep again.

Saturday morning, he asked who was there, who was coming, and when they would be there. We held his hands, rubbed his feet to warm them, talked to him.

He had barely eaten in days, and hadn't had anything to drink either... he hadn't wanted it and no one forced him to. His body wasn't processing oxygen as well, and he ran a low fever. When you asked him how he was doing, he always responded with his usual "pretty good." But, not long after, he would say he was ready to go. It made sense. During the last year, he had promised to come to my wedding, go to my cousin's wedding, celebrate his 60th wedding anniversary, and move to a new house so that my grandma would be in a safer neighborhood when he was gone and she was by herself. And he did all that. At his age, and with the suffering he was going through, there wasn't much reason to keep fighting.

Most of the family was able to spend Saturday at the hospice facility with him. Groups of 5 or 6 family members rotated in and out of his room. At 6pm, some had to leave to go home, and as they made their goodbyes, he woke up, and started asking for certain family members. This started a process where each person had a moment or 2 alone with him, and he used what energy he had to hug each person one last time. At Grandma's turn, he said thank you for being such a good wife to him, and she thanked him for being a good husband. It was painful to watch him say goodbye to my cousins, aunts, uncles... and it was hard to give him what I knew would be the last hug I'd ever give him... but it was beautiful. Not everyone gets the chance to say goodbye like that, and I'm so grateful that grandpa was able to have that time to say goodbye to each of us.

We thought... hoped, prayed even... that he might pass Saturday night. We had all said goodbye, and there was closure. But, he hung on through Sunday... his soul was willing to leave, but the body was too strong, I guess.

My flight back to Seattle was scheduled for 9:00pm Sunday night, and most of the family left throughout the day. By noon, the only ones left were my dad, 3 aunts, my uncle, and my grandma. (One of my cousins came and went, too.) I spent hours holding his hand and talking to him. He was alert for 5 minutes or so on Sunday morning, and my dad was able to put a phone to his ear so one of my cousins was able to say goodbye. He was able to speak a little (again, with my aunt translating his mumbling). That was the last time you could clearly see he was alert and he was visibly in pain again. That afternoon, there would be periods of 2 minutes or so where he would respond to noise-- a flickering of his eyes at someone's voice, or a little jerk of hand when someone coughed. I spent hours holding his hand Sunday, and when I wasn't, my aunt or my dad held his hand. Hopefully, he knew someone who loved him was there until the end; hopefully that gave him some comfort.

Thinking he could still hang on for 48 hours or more, and that I'd already made my goodbyes, I kept my plans to come home that night. I kissed his forehead one more time, and (not knowing what else to say), said I loved him. An hour and a half after I left to the airport, dad called to say that his breathing had changed. The doctor said it was the type that usually started an hour or two before death, so the end was finally near. 25 minutes later, he called to say grandpa had passed. When grandpa died, my dad and my aunt held his hand. Another aunt cheered him on and said "You did it! You did what you wanted to do!" What she meant was that he'd been ready for hours, and his body had finally given in to what he was so ready for. His suffering was over.

****** (This is probably more detail than most would share, but writing it out was cathartic to me, and it was also a beautiful, but incredibly difficult experience. Death is hard, but beautiful, and I don't think I understood how beautiful an experience it can be until this weekend, even when it comes with so much pain. The blog is about our life as a family, and reality isn't always sunshine and rainbows. Bad times make the good that much more precious. And yes, I'm ok... I got my appetite back tonight, so hooray for eating again.)

This turtle's gone to heaven...

2011-01-24T22:33:00.000-08:00

Tom plays hide ~~and~~ ~~seek~~ this summer

Kenneth and I had a running joke about how Tom the turtle was going to be left to our children in our will. You see, box turtles of his variety tend to live 40-60 years in captivity. Some even live 80 years. That's a long, long time for a family pet. Particularly for one who never really bonded with his people.

Kenneth picked out Tom the turtle when he was 7 years old. When you're 7, turtles are really cool. (There's a lesson here: Never let your children pick out a pet until you have researched their lifespans.) Since turtles are often sold back to pet stores by their owners, and Tom was full grown when Kenneth got him, it's not entirely clear how old he was. Or even if he was indeed, a "he." Anyway, Tom had a happy, uneventful 22 years with Kenneth's family and with us. He was always afraid of people, and when he was taken to get some sun and Vitamin D (it's supposed to be good for turtle shells and skin), he would seek places to hide (like under a bush in the picture above). He was not, what you would call, a social creature.

In October, Tom started eating less and less, until he barely ate anything in a week. Then it got to the point that he didn't eat at all. He seemed to be hibernating, but he had never done that before, and his tank was still being heated to at least 65 degrees every day (which should have prevented any hibernating). Still, he became less and less active. We checked on him on Saturday, and he didn't seem to be doing well. His eyes were sinking and he was lethargic. He barely tried to hide in his shell when he was picked up. We gave him a bath, he drank some water (as usual for bath time) and we gave him some food. He didn't keep anything down, and we talked about taking him to the vet the next day. (At the time, we were getting ready to attend a funeral for one of Kenneth's co-workers.) The next morning, his eyes were sunk in, and he was unresponsive. He could have been mistaken for hibernating, but his eyes were too sunk in and he didn't wake up in water (as he would have if he had been hibernating). It was clear that he had gone to the big forest in the sky.

We buried him in Kenneth's parents' backyard Sunday. Kenneth briefly eulogized on how he "never made it to the Galapagos like he always wanted..." I felt like Auld Lang Syne should be in playing faintly in the background, but I wasn't about to sing. Thinking Tom needed something, I placed some fallen pine branches on his grave. Juniper, oblivious to the solemnity of the occasion, watched the whole thing with a clueless grin. After a moment of silence, we went walked back into the house. It was a simple, fitting end to a humble, perpetually frightened turtle.

Rest in peace, Tom "T-Dizzle" Turtleman. 1989?-2011

Weeping wax and happy tears

2010-12-29T23:38:00.000-08:00

Last week, Kenneth and I opened a package wrapped in blue and brown ribbon to find this:

I'm such a sap, so I'm sure this isn't shocking, but I actually teared up a little when we opened the package and saw what it was. It's an incredible weeping wax "painting" made by one of Kenneth's mom's friends. Since the picture doesn't do it justice, I'll explain a little of what's in the piece. There's a picture of Kenneth and I from our engagement pictures (thanks again for taking those, mom!), and a picture of my church. On the bottom, she pulled our proposal story off of our wedding website and put it next to the picture of us. In the middle is the cover from our programs. At the top is 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 ("Love is patient, love is kind...") in Italian. There are little crystals here and there, and a crystal cross on top of the picture of the church. And at the top, is a silver heart with "Love" on it. You can't see the sides, but they are covered in a beautiful floral fabric or paper with wax covering it. I'm amazed by how much thought went into it. It was obviously made with care to be something meaningful for us, and we're both grateful and amazed by it. I'm still finding little details I didn't notice before. Love it!

By the way, if you want to see more artwork done by Kenneth's mom's friend, you can click here.

Love is not merely a feeling...

2010-12-14T21:38:00.000-08:00

Found this quote, and thought I'd share. It's probably one most married couples can relate to, but it's something that didn't sink in for me until around the time we were engaged.

No, this doesn't have anything to do with the quote below. It's just the most recent "family" photo, and blog posts are more fun with pictures.

"Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called “being in love” usually does not last. If the old fairy-tale ending “They lived happily ever after” is taken to mean “They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,” then it says what probably never was nor ever could be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships?

But, of course, ceasing to be “in love” need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense–love as distinct from “being in love”–is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be “in love” with someone else.

“Being in love” first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise.

It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it."

—Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis

The December Challenge

2010-12-05T16:25:00.000-08:00

After our more-expensive-than-usual Costco trip on Friday, Kenneth suggested a challenge: no more shopping at the grocery store for dinner items during the month of December. The first reason is that we had to throw away a few boxes of food that had expired without ever being opened-- what a waste!-- to make room for our Costco purchases. And these were "non-perishables"-- like Bisquick that was 2 years past expiration. The second reason is that I have this problem with stockpiling food-- I hate it when I find myself in the mood to cook or bake something, and I have no supplies on hand to make the thing when inspiration strikes. I take always being prepared seriously. So, we have tons of food on hand as it is, and while I think Kenneth was half kidding, I thought we might as well try it.

Here's what we're starting with. I took these to have a sort of "before and after"... Here's hoping our cupboards will be more bare on January 1.

"Pantry" cupboard: Potatoes, TONS of pistachios, tuna, quinoa (that only one of us eats-- one of us being me), and lasagna noodles of questionable age.

Spices/baking supply cupboard: I can pretty much bake anything from what's in here. Pumpkin bread ... brownies... cinnamon rolls ... chocolate chip cookies -- I'm ready for anything. You know what this means, right? Cinnamon rolls for dinner!

Freezer-- this is probably the number one reason why we might actually get through the rest of the month without buying any supplies for dinner. In here, we have chicken, pulled pork, fruit and veggies, meatballs, halibut, homemade and store bought marinara... and 3 gallons of ice cream (Safeway had a sale. FYI: When it's snowing outside and you buy 3 gallons of ice cream, people seem to think that's kind of weird). Oh, and 72 frozen cookies. It's way too full, and action must be taken. Starting with the eggnog ice cream.

Storage closet, where you will find yoga mats, office supplies, 2 jars of marinara, 2 bags of pasta, 1 can of chicken stock, instant breakfast, and a giant jar of peanut butter. And dog food. We won't be eating that.

And, so we can be cool like all those celebrities on Cribs, here's what's in our fridge: 3 pounds of spinach ($4 at Costco), lots of beverages, cream cheese, parmesan cheese, cheddar cheese... more cheese...half an onion, almond butter, and a dozen eggs. Very exciting stuff in here.

Then we have the refrigerator door--- which is a little frightening. At the moment, I'm not sure which of the things in here are expired. But I do know the orange juice, wine, fish sauce, and butter are all A-OK. Which means I'll be making lots of... um... I'm not really sure what.

We're not going to take this too seriously-- but it will be fun to see how things go. Mostly I'm excited to free up some freezer space... so I can put more ice cream in it. Hehe.

P.S.--- The post about the Christmas cards yesterday was part of a promotion with Shutterfly. Bloggers who post about Shutterfly holiday cards get 50 free Christmas cards. If you're behind the ball like me, and still need to get your Christmas cards, click here for more information on how you can get some free cards too.

Our First Christmas (Cards)

2010-12-04T20:03:00.000-08:00

While Kenneth and I have now been dating, engaged, or married through 4 Christmases now, I'm finding myself very excited about our first Christmas as a married couple. We started dating late in the year that first year together, so we didn't spend that Christmas together, but we have ever since then. But there are some things that make this Christmas a little different. For one, this will be our first Christmas spent together in California. There are other firsts too...

First Christmas ornaments...

How pretty would one of these be with our names and "Our First Christmas" printed on it be?

Or this one...

Then, this will be our first Christmas cards sent as a married couple. I can't tell you how excited I am to sign some cards from "Brianna and Kenneth." Something about sending Christmas cards out together seems so very... "we're our own new family." (Descriptive, right?) Anyway, the added bonus is that it's a great way to share wedding pictures. (Ha! You thought you were done seeing them!)

I've been considering a few different places for ordering cards-- there are SO many out there right now-- but after playing with Shutterfly's system and getting used to it while working on some wedding albums, I'm leaning pretty heavily towards using Shutterfly for Christmas cards. Maybe this picture...

Thanks to my incredibly talented friend Carina for capturing this moment!

With one of these designs...

I love that if we chose this one, 10% of the proceeds go to Heifer International-- one of the charities we regularly support anyway. I'm a sucker for anything that supports a charity somehow, even more so when it's a great cause like Heifer International.

But, I love that this one gives us the option to show a couple of pictures, and this one helps you do it in a fun way...

I love that even though the aqua and red color combo isn't usually a Christmas color, it still seems wintry and fun--- it still seems Christmas-y.

Or, maybe in keeping with the "Our First Christmas" thing-- we'll go with this one because it has the same scritp-y font feel that would have gone with our wedding cake, and the colors are pretty close too. And look at all the different pictures we could share on just one card!

I'm having a hard time picking one, and Christmas is only 20 days away! Eek! Which one do you think we should go with?

Minimoon at Edgefield

2010-11-14T19:42:00.000-08:00

Some pictures from our mini-moon at Edgefield. (There are more pictures on Kenneth's computer, like from when we hiked to the top of Multnomah Falls. I'll try to post those next.)

The day after the wedding, we had breakfast with my family and friends, lunch with Kenneth's family (who was celebrating his uncle's 50th birthday) and opened our wedding gifts at Kenneth's parents. Then, it was off to Edgefield. The drive only took about 3 hours, so not bad at all...

What we found in our room when we arrived! 2 bottles of champagne and Moonstruck chocolates! One was from Kenneth's mom and the other was from Kenneth's cousins. (Note to self: Must remember to do this for other couples.)

Seen around Edgefield...

The distillery. We didn't get to tour it or the winery, but we did tour the brewery.

(Grape vines... which apparently look dead in April.)

Main entrance to Edgefield. Love the beautiful old building with the bizarre statue in front. It sets the tone for the entire experience.

Murals. These are depicting the series of events that would have led to someone becoming a resident at Edgefield when it was a poor farm, way back when...

Lucky Staehly was a resident when Edgefield was a retirement home. And apparently, he was quite the player...

This garden supplies a good portion of the produce and herbs used in the restaurants at Edgefield. Hops grow up the old water tower.

How cute!

Such a quirky place. We loved it! We ate such fantastic meals, had massages (I enjoyed it, but Kenneth didn't), and just relaxed. Oy-- -that is NOT something I'm good at, so it was wonderful! We also went in to Portland for dinner one night, hiked to the top of Multnomah Falls (I've never been to the top!) and took a long drive through the Columbia Gorge.

The Gorge from Crown Point

Vista House-- beautiful, isn't it. It just seems to fit so well with the landscape.

Pictures from Multnomah Falls next, once I pull them off of Kenneth's computer...

Wedding Pictures: Finale

2010-11-12T17:02:00.000-08:00

I love this picture because to me, it's what family is all about. Here, my sister Sara is joking with my mom and cousin Patty-- clearly having a good time. And, my step-sister Piper (my step-dad's daughter) is hugging my half-sister (my dad and step-mom's daughter)-- there is no blood connecting them. They aren't even sisters by marriage. But the way Piper acted with my little sisters that weekend, and acts whenever she is with my half-sisters, is no less than sisterly love in action. I joke that my family is as blended as they get-- I've got 2 step-parents, sisters, half-sisters, a step-sister, and for 2 years I had a foster brother. Piper's mom once said something that stuck with me... "Family is what you make it."

It's not blood or marriage that makes all these people family, it's love. We hope that kind of love came through in our wedding, and that it resonates in us through the next 60 years (at least!) of our lives.

The End.

Wedding Pictures Part 23: Dancing, and the end of the day...

2010-11-11T18:30:00.000-08:00

And until the time our photographers left at least, people visited with each other, and danced...

And when everything was over, we went back to the hotel and met up with our out-of-town guests who were staying the night in Seattle for one last visit together. Nothing formal, just aunts and uncles, parents and siblings, and friends that flew in for the weekend, meeting for happy hour at the hotel bar. (No pictures--sad!) After the group started breaking up, we walked down the street for ice-cream with my Californian friends, but before we left, we got one of the hotel guys to take a group photo...

And with that, we left to get Haagan Daaz, then went our separate ways. I'm not sure what S & her husband M did--- we didn't see them the next day since they flew out right after church. From what I understand, M, C, T, & J had quite the night out at some bars though, since when we met up with them for breakfast the next morning they were hung-over. Ha. And all they would say was "wow, J is such a crazy guy." I'm still not sure what to make of that.

(One more wedding picture post to go! ALMOST done!)

Wedding Pictures Part 22: Tosses

2010-11-09T17:06:00.000-08:00

Kenneth and I weren't wild about the idea of doing bouquet/garter tosses. Most of Kenneth's friends are married at this point, so there would be a total of 3 men around for the garter toss, assuming they would all be willing to get on the dance floor... not to mention, I'm too much of a prude to have Kenneth rustling under my skirts in public--- especially when my parents and grandmother and Kenneth's grandparents were in the crowd. Then, since the bouquet toss would require a bouquet that I didn't have, that didn't make sense either. Plus, we just didn't think most of our friends would be into it. Solution: gift cards, and a co-ed crowd! I think one was for Jamba Juice and the other was for Amazon.com, and Mom tied ribbons around them to make them a little prettier.

And now, the most hilarious pictures from the day...

Sara's feet are planted firmly, ready to leap the moment the cards flew... Margarett has positioned her hands to push people out of the way... Alexis has taken prime real estate directly behind us...

Notice my friend Nicole, who is soooo too cool for this. So cool, she's doing a hipster fingers-through-the-hair pose while everyone (ok, at least my sisters) are diving for the gift cards... hilarious! (She's doing it in the other photos too...)

Sara DIVING for the cards. Not surprising... at the last wedding Sara and I went to together, Sara actually stomped on my foot wearing those same stiletto heels during the bouquet toss. *Not joking.* We should all be thankful no blood was spilled this time.

I think Sara and James got them, but I'm not sure. Let me know if I have that wrong.

Wedding Pictures Part 21: The Anniversary Dance

2010-11-08T17:38:00.000-08:00

Just a few more posts on the wedding left, and then goodness knows when I'll write about... But, until then, pictures from the anniversary dance (or whatever you call the dance that starts out with all married couples on the dance floor, and then starts asking couples to leave...first if they've been married for less than a day, then if they have been married less than 1 year, then less than 5 years, and so on...)

As the song went on, couples left the dance floor...

And finally, the only couple still dancing was Phil & Lil--- who I think have been married 58 or 59 years.

Here's hoping we're still dancing at weddings in 58 or 59 years.

Wedding Pictures Part 20: Let's Dance

2010-11-07T17:34:00.000-08:00

In the end, we picked "You Are the Best Thing" for our first dance. It's fun, easy to dance to, and appealed to both of us. "Can't Take my Eyes Off of You" is still "our" song, and it would've been great to have our first dance to our song, but it would have required more dance lessons than we could afford or even had time for. (Did I mention we started our dance lessons less than a month before the wedding, which we hadn't budgeted for... and they turned out to be way more expensive than we thought they would be? Oops. We only ended up making it to 2 lessons.) We didn't do "Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World" because it was too long and the music didn't allow for any creativity in dancing. I think we had the most fun with what we picked, anyway.

I really, really love the above 2 photos. Definitely in my top 10 of all 2000 of our wedding photos. LOVE them.

And then it was time for my Dad and I to dance. In efforts to simplify where possible, I asked Dad to pick the song we would dance to. His choice-- "Have I told You Lately that I Love You"-- was a good one, even more so because my dad doesn't say "I love you," often. He's not the kind to vocalize his emotions, so choosing that song was his way of doing it, and it made dancing with him more special than it might have been with other songs he considered ("Unforgettable," and "Landslide")

I'm probably laughing because Dad's telling a lame joke or some ridiculous one-liner.

The song was a great choice, but it's over 4 minutes long. That's a long time to have people watch you dance! So about mid-way through, I decided it was time to make things more interesting, and asked the rest of my Dad's daughters to join in...

And finally, it was time for Kenneth and his mom to do their dance. Kenneth and his mom chose Celine Dion's "You Raise Me Up."

Kenneth's mom looks soooooooo happy in these pictures. Honestly, part of me didn't want to do any formal dances, (more spotlight on us was not what I wanted), but to get a picture like this, and make Kenneth's mom this happy, I'd say it was worth it in the end.

Love that picture. Doesn't it make you want to go hug your mom?

Wedding Pictures Part 19: Cake & Cupcakes

2010-10-28T21:37:00.000-07:00

Since Kenneth's cousin turned 13 the day of our wedding, we thought she deserved a little time in the spotlight too...

This picture is included entirely because of the adorably mischievous look on little cousin H's face. And cousin Luke is great too. :)

Singing Happy Birthday to Kenneth's cousin M was definitely one of the best parts of the day. (Thanks to groomsman Nathan for making that happen!)

And now, for our cake...

But before that, let's take a moment to appreciate our baker...

Inspiration:

Our version:

And now, I'll unveil my worst wedding day fear. A cake that looked like this:

(To be clear, this is a nice cake, it's not a cake wreck... but it's not at all what we wanted.)

A lot of the bakers we talked to just didn't convince me that they could replicate the cake that tied together every decision relating to aesthetics for our wedding. That inspiration cake inspired our invitations, bridesmaid dress colors, the centerpieces, programs-- everything. In addition to that, I had spent too much time reading Cake Wrecks to have faith in "professionals" with less than absolutely jaw-dropping portfolios. Needless to say, I was really, really happy with our cake. Was it an exact replica of the inspiration cake? No. But did it have the graceful, calligraphy like swirls of the cake Kenneth and I both loved. Yep. Mike's Amazing Cakes, my friends. They can do anything with cake, (no really, they can-- check out the website) and they came in right on budget. They made this bride very, very happy.

Umm... We don't have forks. I guess we use our fingers...?

Notice the small children surrounding us. I'm sure cake is the best part of going to weddings when you're under 10.

Wedding Pictures Part 19: Toasts

2010-10-22T21:52:00.000-07:00

I don't entirely remember what was said in our toasts.... and for this I'm grateful for our pictures and video. Especially because at this point, my memory of the toasts is a jumble of laughter and tearing up, and jokes about fish and turtles. Memories are untrustworthy things...

Anyway, pictures of toast giving...

Dad is quite the talker... anyone who has spent 5 minutes with him could tell you that. And yet, he was clearly a bit nervous about his speech. I was once told that being nervous is a good thing. It shows you really care about what's going on. So, seeing Dad actually get nervous about giving a toast at our wedding. Well, it meant a lot to me seeing how much it meant to him, giving that speech. Even made me tear up just a tiny bit...

James and Kenneth have a bond that amazes me. They are just as much friends as they are brothers. Actually, I'd say best friends. So James was a very special part of our wedding, and his speech was undoubtedly a highlight of the day for Kenneth.

Look closely at Kenneth's eyes... I'm almost certain that was the only time that day that I thought he might just cry. He didn't, but he was about as close to teary-eyed as I've ever seen him. Or ever will, I imagine.

Unfortunately, all I remember is James talking about taking care of the turtle.

Lovely speech, James! Cheers all around!

During the year or so prior to the wedding, Sara and I went from being sisters to being friends. It baffles both of us, but it's true. The day before the wedding, even Sara said, and I quote "I really love you. You've been there for me and you've become one of my best friends" (She will deny this if asked, because Sara "doesn't do emotions.") So having Sara give a speech at our wedding had more meaning than I imagined it would...

My friends Margarett, Taryn, and Carina spoke, too. We became inseparable in high school, and while we've certainly gone on very different paths since then, I still feel the most myself when I'm around them than with anyone else in the world.

Do you know why I'm laughing here? It's because Margarett is telling the fish joke. If you don't know what I'm talking about, let me know and I'll fill you in. Because nothing makes me laugh harder than a good, lame joke. It's the area where my dad's side of the family comes out the most in me.

Uncle Bill is not known for brevity, a fact I'm sure he is aware of because everyone on that side of the family is that way -- we talk even when no one is listening, and we tell the same stories over and over and over and... On top of that, as we age, it only gets worse. (Poor Kenneth! He can't wait until I'm 60!) So, with that, I admit I was a little nervous when Uncle Bill requested the microphone. Turns out, I shouldn't have been. Uncle Bill was was very kind, and the words he shared about marriage were perfect (if what I remember is correct...).

And finally, Spencer, Kenneth's best friend (after James) wrapped up our toasts. When you date someone, their family and their friends come as part of the package. Luckily, Kenneth's friends and family are terrific, including Spencer. Spencer has this quiet, friendly attitude that sets you at ease, and a great sense of humor. He pointed out how Kenneth and I have brought out the best in each other since we started dating, something I hope we continue to do throughout our marriage.

Is a poppy by any other name, still a poppy?

2010-10-21T23:54:00.000-07:00

One last post and then it's to bed with me tonight, but I thought I'd mention that I finally changed my name.

It took me a while because I wasn't totally certain what I wanted to do about my name. I had come very close to a decision, but I still wavered. Take Kenneth's last name and drop mine? That would certainly be easiest. Wait, keeping my name would be easiest, but I had finally decided I didn't want to keep it entirely. Hyphenate? Ugh, way too long. Add his to mine?

Yeah, that works. Legally, my last name is one I'm totally comfortable with. I can hyphenate when it makes sense. But I can also be Mrs. H, and whenever it makes the most sense to go by a shorter name.

I finally came around to the idea that I'm still me, even if my name changes. So I got over my irrational fears of finding parking near the SS office, of the passport agencies losing my paperwork, of lines at the Department of Licensing. Truth be told, there's some parts to this process that have made me feel like I should have just kept my name and not gone through all the trouble. But my name is growing on me. I like being Brianna N J H. If nothing else, I win the prize for having the longest last name in the office. :)

P.S. About our thank you cards-- we're sending them out to each guest by their last name, and currently we are in "H." We are so very grateful for everyone's generosity, but being newly married makes one busy. Not to mention we have a dog to take care of, busy work schedules, Brianna's ridiculous time commitments (10-25 hrs a week with NMUN, 2 hours a week teaching ESL, and now, studying for the LSAT to be taken this December), Kenneth's mountaineering course, etc. We're still planning to show our gratitude to each of you before a year post wedding, just like Emily Post says to. We've just had a stressful, busy summer/fall with all this going on, but we're in the home stretch and things are starting to calm down a bit. Thanks for your patience!

Wedding Pictures Part 18: Friends

2010-10-21T23:19:00.000-07:00

Our friends are basically amazing. And they made our wedding day that much more special by being there for and with us on our wedding day...

From the ones were there in spirit, but threw me one heck of a (totally PG) bachelorette party a few weeks before the wedding while I was in New York...

To the ones that came to the other bachelorette party... (and that one was...*ahem*... not quite as PG, since Sara was planning it)...

(I've yet to see any from Ken's bachelor party... it's probably going to stay that way.)

From my oldest friends of 16 years (!) that traveled hundreds of miles from California to spend the day with us...

To the ones that honored us by standing next to us at the altar...

And said the most kind words I think anyone has ever said about us.

From the ones that started out as co-workers, and became incredibly good friends...

(And who took the time to read our programs... hehe).

From the friends we made in college...

To the ones we've known for much longer...

To the ones who have parents, spouses, and siblings that have always treated us like their own family...

Who filled our day with so much laughter and fun...

... we are so very blessed to have them in our lives.

(And if I didn't include a picture of you-- it's because somehow I didn't get a picture of you from the wedding! Bummer indeed! It's not because you aren't loved!)

And for your amusement, one last picture from the NY bachelorette--- the most ridiculous picture of me ever-- because nothing says "bride-to-be" like me acting gangsta. Feel free to commence laughing, and plotting ways to blackmail me with the picture later.

Wedding Pictures Part 17: Reception details

2010-10-21T22:10:00.000-07:00

One exciting aspect of the day was arriving at Salty's and walking around the banquet rooms, seeing how all the decorations and the food came together-- would everything look like we imagined it would? Did Jackie, our Day of Coordinator (and recent bride herself) understand our explanations from days ago, about how the set up should be for the each table, for the candy/cookie buffet... for everything? Would the cake look right? Did anything get lost or forgotten?

Let's see.... there was the cake table with items and pictures from family weddings...

... and the cake wasn't a cake wreck!

Everything just perfect and the cake looking exactly like the inspiration picture from way back when.

The cookie and candy buffet-- with cookies that mom and I (mostly mom) spent hours and hours baking.

Mmmm. Lemon lavender shortbread cookies.

The goodie bags mom and Piper stamped. (THANK YOU!)

The centerpieces. I loved them-- they looked exactly like I imagined. And while I consider myself moderately crafty, things rarely look that closely to what I imagine when I start a project.

Our little sweetheart table decorations that mom put together...

The card suitcase... (another project by mom)

Yeah, Jackie (and Uncle Chad) did a terrific job!

Not just in setting the decorations out either. Jackie I know each other from when she joined some of my co-workers for the Danskin Triathlon in 2009, and she's also friend of friend/co-worker Dana. She offered to help us out in with our wedding and Ken and I were soooooo stinkin' happy about that. A lot of stress we had around the wedding day logistics was relieved with her entrance into our wedding world. Jackie helped us create our wedding week schedule, saved the day when some things didn't make it to Salty's the morning of the wedding, kept us on schedule the day of the wedding, and the best part-- she made the reception a no-stress time for me because I didn't have to worry about a thing. She made sure Kenneth and I ate, and that our glasses were never empty. If anyone asked us a question-- all we had to say was "I don't know. But ask Jackie, the girl in the purple shirt. She'll be able to help you." We never had to deal with any crisis. We were able to concentrate on spending time with people we loved, and not worrying about anything else.

All that, and I don't have a picture of from the wedding, so here she is with the triathlon gang from 2009... This is all to say, THANKS AGAIN JACKIE!

Wedding Pictures Part 16: Salty's Arrival, and FOOD!

2010-09-10T13:56:00.000-07:00

Mmmmm.... Salty's.

I was kind of worked about our entrance. In my head, in a perfect world, we would just non-chalantly roll into our reception, just like any other guests. If people clapped, ok, but no introduction. It just seemed like a silly thing to do because, well, everyone already knew who we were. What's the point? It just made no sense to me.

But when we got to Salty's our fantastic DOC Jackie asked about it, Sara asked about it, our photographers asked how we were going to do our introduction, and... after a couple of blank looks when I said I didn't want it, I caved. We could have an introduction. People were waiting and expecting it, and by golly, sometimes, you've got to give the people what they want, despite your crazy anxiety around it.

And so, in we came, and people clapped because we entered a room. And we were announced as Mr. & Mrs._____, even though I still hadn't totally decided to change my name at that point.

"Oh well. Let's drink mimosas and celebrate that we're married! Look at all these people... I want to hug them all! No wait, let's eat first!"

***********************

When we first started planning our wedding, we were happy that our ceremony location gave us lots of choices for a reception location. We considered lots of different places around Seattle (a museum on the UW campus, the Faculty Club at UW, the parish hall, reception halls and venues owned by the City of Seattle, venues owned by caterers, hotels, even the Seattle Aquarium--- we investigated everything!), but in the end Salty's was the closest option to the church that we could afford and could accommodate our guest list. Which was fine with us....

View from Salty's! (The Space Needle is a little to the left.)

Cinnamon rolls!

Salmon! Little bagels! Oh yeah... and cream cheese.

Crab! Fresh fruit!

Hmmm... how am I going to fit the Florentine Benedict around the shrimp and salmon?

Nope, we weren't going to be those couples you hear about that never get a chance to eat on their wedding day. Here's the proof that we did. Ok, I did. Kenneth was too excited to eat much, but I finished my plate. And I'm sure no one would expect anything less of me. :)

And, as proof that I wasn't the only one excited about food... our guests actually took pictures of their plates!

Cousin Jack's plate

Friend Marsha's plate

*No more last names. I ran Google Analytics on our blog, and people we don't know have been reading this, so for our privacy, no last names anymore.

Wedding Pictures Part 15*: Getaway Car

2010-09-08T23:20:00.000-07:00

Weddings are crazy expensive, and apparently Seattle is one of the more expensive places in the country to get married. The average Seattle wedding is $22, 537, and that's on the lower end of the averages I found online for Seattle weddings! (Highest? $37,000!) Not only is that equal to a year of school tuition/a house downpayment/a new car, but that just seems like a ridiculous amount to spend on one day of your life. I mean, if you can afford it, great, but there is so much I would rather spend it on if we had the option. Still, even then, spending that much wasn't an option for us. We were paying the largest chunk of the wedding ourselves, and we were committed to getting married as soon as we could, and having the wedding we really wanted, without going into debt. Obviously, this meant tight control of our budget, and saving, saving, saving.

And you're saying "Awesome, Brianna,... but, what does that have to do with the super cool getaway car I saw you in on your wedding day?"

Well, like I said, we budgeted and we prioritized. We spent the biggest chunk of our budget on things that mattered (feeding our guests, the church fees, our photographers) and planned to spend very little on things that didn't matter (transportation, mostly). Somewhere along the line, we realized driving ourselves on our wedding day wasn't an option, but we didn't have room in the budget for a limo or the usual wedding day transportation choices. My friend Dana offered to loan us her super cute red Prius, and we thought maybe our best-man or someone else could drive us. Another idea was to use a taxi...

source

Cute, right? But, even better, there's a Green Taxi company in Seattle. All the cabs are green Priuses! So, not only would our transportation be super cheap (just a taxi ride), but it would also be a way to make our wedding a little greener. It's a win-win!

However, in the weeks leading up to our wedding, we realized we did have some money to spare in our budget. Not enough to hire a videographer (and anyway, Kenneth's uncle, a cameraman for the Miami Dolphins and Tampa Devil Rays, said he would do it for us), but enough for something. We landed on transportation, and Kenneth took on the job of making it happen. His choice, the 1950s Rolls Royce, was a TOTAL surprise to me when we left the church. I was shocked we could afford it, and that he had picked such a perfect car. I was expecting a simple little town car... not this pretty thing...

*Wow... In a million years, I didn't think it could take this many posts to recap our wedding. Oh well. Here we are with blog post 15.

Wedding Pictures Part 14: Church

2010-09-04T23:14:00.000-07:00

Before we leave the church, I wanted to share a few pictures that don't really help tell the story*, but are soooo pretty.

Grandma J's prayer book with Granny's/Sara's rosary.

No, we didn't get married here because the church was pretty as some people thought. I love my church for more reasons than that... but I will agree that it is indeed, a pretty church.

The remodeled the altar area between Christmas and Easter, and we were nervous about it being done on time. No one wants plywood behind them in their wedding pictures. More nerve racking though was when the initial design called for removing the baldachin canopy, changing the alter itself, or repainting the baldachin. (The baldachin is that wooden thing just above the cross with the painted panels, with the canopy being the part that hangs like... a canopy... ) Luckily, they were done on time. They didn't change a thing to the balduchin. Hooray!

*The main reason why I'm writing this blog is so I have something from which to create a sort of journal to bring back memories of exactly what happened on our wedding day when I look at our album years from now. I've been omitting some of our best pictures that are beautiful, but don't tell the story, that don't remind me of how we felt, what we experienced on that day. However, I thought some people (that's you, mom!) might like to see the pretty pictures.

Wedding Pictures Part 13: K-I-S-S-I-N-G and the Recessional

2010-09-02T23:10:00.000-07:00

So we've returned to the altar area after Ave Maria, and there's supposed to be a final blessing, we kiss, and then we head to the reception.

We got to the altar, and were waiting for the priest to cue us for what was to happen next. All we got was a look like "Well, aren't you going to do what you're supposed to do?" We thought that meant kiss, so we did.

"Oh. We weren't supposed to do that yet? Whoops." We were looking at each other and the priest. How were we supposed to know we were waiting on our bridal party to walk from the pews back to the altar?

(Here's a secret. We actually kissed at another point of the ceremony, right when we first sat down for the first reading, I think. It seemed like the natural thing to do at the time. But no one noticed that one. So that means 3 kisses during our ceremony... I'm sure that makes for good luck or something, right? right?)

(My friend Carina took the picture above-- and I'm so glad she caught the look on our faces.)

So the priest made it official with his last blessing, and THEN, we had the real kiss.

Hmm... before I go on, I forgot to mention how I nearly tripped as we were walking during Ave Maria. My shoes were slippery, and combined with concrete floors, it lead to a dangerous situation. After nearly falling flat on my rear end, (but not actually since my dashing groom caught my arm and stopped any damage before it could happen), it brought some much needed comic relief to the moment.

Jesson, Blessed Sacrament's liturgy director, must have feared a lawsuit... or he's just incredibly gallant... but either way, (thinking I tripped on my dress, not that my shoes slipped from under me) he made sure to help me with my dress the rest of the ceremony after Ave Maria. Which lasted about 10 minutes, if that.

I'm laughing because Jesson was so convinced I was tripping over my dress. In the picture, I'm telling him something like "It wasn't the dress, my friend. It's the shoes! I just need shoes with more traction." All to no avail.

And with that, the ceremony was over. We were off to our getaway car...

A Honeymoon Hiccup

2010-08-09T12:30:00.000-07:00

Remember way back when, when I mentioned we were going to Peru for our honeymoon?

Well, now, maybe not.

We have been having a really hard time finding a trip to Peru that works with our work schedules. September would be great for Kenneth, but terrible for me because we're launching things at work and I have a 4 day trip to New York in September too. October doesn't work for Kenneth because of the REI sales at that time of year. November is ok for both of us... but in Peru, rainy season can start as early as November. (It's warm, but still, lots of rain). Last night, we talked about maybe something else might work out better, and just for informational purposes, we took a look at other trips REI offers.

And then we saw this picture of Belize...

Soooo pretty! But now we don't know what to do.

Here are the pros and cons:

PERU:

Click on "Peru" to read the REI itinerary.

Pros: cultural significance (love that! The ruins! The people! The history!), it's a once in a lifetime trip, hot showers and hotels the entire time.

Cons: It doesn't work well with our schedule (it could work, just not ideal), it's more expensive than Belize (in airfare), it's certainly not a relaxing vacation. Doesn't exactly say "honeymoon."

BELIZE:

Click on "Belize" to read the itinerary.

Pros: it's sunny, warm and beautiful! Just look again at the picture--- who doesn't want to spend time there!? It's cheaper (HUGE plus!!), more relaxing.

Cons: For 4 days of the trip we would be in those tents on the beach with access to showers (not necessarily hot ones) and get this, "modern, compostable toilets," (I read that as code for fancy port-o-potties... do you interpret it differently?). There are no cultural experiences to be had--- they mention Mayan caves and culture in the description, but when you read the itinerary, there's actually nothing involving Mayan culture.

One last thing--- Ken thinks that Belize has more of a romance factor, and it does *sound* more romantic to go to Belize, but I'm not so sure yet. During the part of the trip that should be the most romantic (the 4-5 days on an island with pristine beaches), "modern, compostable toilet" doesn't say romance to me. In terms of romance, I think the trips are pretty even.

We are VERY blessed to have 2 such wonderful options for our honeymoon, but we're still baffled as to which will be better. Where would you go? Peru or Belize?

Wedding Pictures Part 12: Ave Maria

2010-08-05T01:06:00.000-07:00

Mom didn't make any demands about our wedding, except one. Ave Maria had to be played during our ceremony.

I had no objections to Mom's demand. Ave Maria was sung by my great-grandfather at the weddings of each of his children. It's been played at many family weddings since then.

We asked Kenneth's cousin to sing it originally, but she couldn't come to the wedding... which was disappointing, but our musicians did a fine job.

It's a song that honors the Virgin Mary, and asks for her protection as well as God's. But it's not just that to us.

Granny was a strong, Catholic woman. The kind that had rosaries in every purse, a well-worn one next to her bedside. Pictures of saints, missals, and prayer books scattered on her nightstand and bookshelves. She went to confession if she even had a bad thought about someone. She loved her family and we all loved her. She was a saint on earth.

And Kenneth's grandma was also a strong, Catholic woman. She loved children so much, she had 10 of them. I don't know much about her since she died over 10 years ago. But if a woman's children speak of her like she was as much an angel before she died as she is now, I'm not sure I need to know much else. And she had 10 children!

What better song to honor them than Ave Maria?

We wanted to honor them in a personal way. So, the roses I carried up the aisle with me were left at the statue of Mary as our musicians played Ave Maria. We left the altar, and stopped at the niche to pray a silent Hail Mary and remember our grandparents.

(I had wanted to have copies of their bridal bouquets done for this, but it was too hard to figure out logistically. But the roses made good substitutes.)

When I think of Granny, I think of her faith. In turn, her faith inspires my own. When she was unable to come to Seattle for my Confirmation a few years ago because of arthritis in her back (the car ride was too hard anymore), I thought she could at least come to my wedding someday. I wanted her to see me make a sacrament as an adult, to witness just how much she had influenced me.

I believe Grandma H., Granny, and Granddad were there with us in that moment as we prayed alone at the back of the church. When I look back at our ceremony, I think we must have made them happy and proud.

(And that, my friends, is the last somber moment of the day. Thanks for sticking through some posts that were pretty hard to write. The rest are all fun stuff, like kisses, and cake, and dancing!)

Wedding Pictures Part 11: Communion

2010-08-04T17:00:00.000-07:00

Possibly one of my favorite pictures ever.

Some people have strong feelings around Communion being served at Catholic weddings. If you're curious about the rules around Communion, you can read more here. It might also give you some ideas about why people have strong feelings about it (rules around who can receive Communion, why, etc.).

You all being nice people, we decided that none of you would be grumpy because you love us. We're both Catholic, so receiving Christ on our wedding day seemed fitting. Why would we not invite Christ to be part of our ceremony? Anyway, Kenneth's family always has Communion at weddings. The more we thought about it, the reasons to have Communion were more compelling than not and agreeing to have Communion was one of the easiest parts of planning our ceremony.

Anyway, so at this point, Monica and Erin (Kenneth's cousins and our altar servers) waited with Fr. Dick for the gifts to be presented (I think that's how it's described).

Aunt Mary, Uncle Bruce, and their daughter Elizabeth brought them up.

Fr. Dick consecrated the bread and wine.

We prayed the Lord's Prayer, and our guests raised their hands in prayer over us... no, that's not a gesture common in Germany during WWII, despite the look of things.

Next came what I call "the peace-be-with-you," but what's actually called the sign of peace. Which, at a wedding, is another chance to get hugs in. We were all about the hugs on our wedding day... if you escaped being within 10 ft of us without a hug I'd like to know how because I would be pretty darn impressed.

And, after all that, we were all ready for receiving the Eucharist.

Phew. Ceremony is almost over. Just a song, a few detail shots that didn't find their way into a previous post, and a kiss to be had, then off to the party.

Wedding Pictures Part 10: Prayers of the Faithful

2010-08-02T22:55:00.000-07:00

After we made our vows, Uncle Chad stepped up to say the prayers of the faithful-- prayers on behalf of the congregation. This is the part of the ceremony where we were given the most freedom for creativity--- and so we did:

For leaders of Church and state, that they guide us in the search for peace, environmental stewardship, equality, health, and love, let us pray to the Lord.

For Brianna and Kenneth, and all who share a mutual love and life together, that through the help of God, they may savor love, children, long life, family and friends, let us pray to the Lord.

For those who have died, especially Joan Hebert, Robert Ellis, and Johanna Ellis, and also for those who could not join us today due to their health, we pray to the Lord.

For the unspoken prayers we hold in our hearts, we pray to the Lord.

Not the most beautifully crafted prayer in the world, but we felt it covered all the bases.

I insisted that an Ellis family member had to read the prayers of the faithful because I wanted Granny's name to be pronounced right--- (YO-HAWN-UH-- it's a Dutch name and the name Johan/Johanna goes back many generations). Even at Granny's funeral the priest mispronounced her name and that bothered me so much that I didn't want it to be mispronounced in such a public way again. Little things get under my skin, I guess.

I also remember how Kenneth's family chokes up at weddings when his grandma's name (Joan Hebert) is mentioned. We knew Uncle Chad would be able to pray for Granny and Granddad with a steady voice-- Uncle Chad is good at keeping his cool that way. I, on the other hand, started tearing up at Granny's name. Before the wedding, I had worked on de-sensitizing myself to the things I knew were going to affect me most-- these prayers and the song Ave Maria. It didn't work and I still cried. A quick dab of my eyes and a few deep breaths and Chad was done.

Chad stepped down from lectern, and the preparation for Communion began.

3 Month Anniversary

2010-07-18T00:49:00.000-07:00

Today, we celebrated our 3 month anniversary by unwrapping the bulky package we found left in our freezer after our mini-moon. Which one?

This one:

We know that you're supposed to save the top tier from your wedding for your first anniversary. But our baker offered to recreate our top tier for our 1st anniversary, so we weren't planning to save the top tier from our wedding cake. We forgot to tell people though, so my super-awesome friend Margarett took our top tier to our apartment after the wedding, wrapped in plastic wrap and foil, and stuck it in the freezer. And here's the rub-- our freezer is ALWAYS bursting at the seams. When I make food (really make food, not sandwiches for dinner or frozen pizza), I make the full recipe, even just for 2 of us. I freeze the leftovers in 2 serving size containers and bam--- quick and easy dinner-- just reheat and serve. So, our freezer is full of frozen vegetables, ice, tons of green chile/homemade marinara/whatever I made last week.... and the top tier of our wedding cake.

We thought maybe since Margie did go through the trouble of wrapping up and freezing the cake for us, maaaaaybe we could save it for our first anniversary. Well, our freezer situation put the kibosh on that. Desperate times call for desperate measures and all that.

Hmm.... frosting is very smudged, but it looks ok otherwise.

So, we decided we would eat the cake for our 1 month-iversary. And we promptly forgot about the cake on our 1 month-iversary. And then we forgot about it on our 2 month-iversary. And then we came to today, our 3 month-iversary, and we remembered!

We were scared. Was it going to be chocolate cake with cookies & cream filling, which we both loved? Or lemon marionberry, which only I would like? Would we be romantically sharing this top tier, or would it fall to me entirely to eat that HUGE top tier? The moment of truth....

Bummer. That, my friends, is lemon-marionberry. If my butt looks bigger next time you see me, now you know why.

Nothing left to do, but eat the cake. OOooohhh, spooky eyes for Juniper. I think that means she was trying to use the Jedi laser eye trick to move the cake from the counter and into her belly. It doesn't appear to have worked though. Too bad, Juniper! No cake for you.

But if you are in the mood for 3 month old, but still tasty lemon marionberry cake, come on over. Don't leave me to eat the top tier of my wedding cake alone!

Wedding Pictures Part 9: Vows and Rings

2010-07-17T01:32:00.000-07:00

Where are we? Hmmm....I got my hair did with my ladies while Kenneth and his men obliged me by putting on their jackets for some faux getting ready shots. We took some family photos. We took some photos of just us. We processed into the church. We prepared our hearts, minds, and souls with the readings from scripture. We listened to a homily.

Right, so now, we get to the point of this whole shin-dig. We vow to love each other unconditionally for the rest of our lives, and get some new bling to remind ourselves of what we promised.

Love Lexi's face on this one.

I wish I knew what Nathan was smirking about...

Look, Spencer is kind of smirking too. Natalie is just trying to stay awake.

Gratuitous cute baby shot. Because it's our blog, and we like babies. And I think this shot was taken around the time of our vows anyway.

One last blessing before we get to the vows and rings...

Oh, wow. We look love-sick and happy there, don't we? Well, if you're ever going to be sickeningly in love, it should be on your wedding day, right?

Ok, noooooow, is the part where James does his most important job during the ceremony. I was really nervous about how the rings would go down the aisle since we didn't have a ring bearer. I didn't want James to carry them in their boxes in his pocket, since that would be bulky and weird looking. I also didn't want them to be loose in his pocket-- too scary! We could lose them that way! So, I asked Kenneth to have a ribbon tied around them the night before. That way, if they dropped, there would be a long piece of ribbon attached to them and they'd be easier to find. This picture shows James untying the knots and letting the rings fall off the ribbons and into his hand. James was an awesome best man, putting up with my paranoia and all.

A little holy water to help bless the rings.

Funny tangent, because I have those sometimes: Usually, during Mass, I have to work really hard to keep my mind from wandering since I'm a visual person, and I don't follow things well when I hear it. I always use the Missal to follow along with the readings and songs. And I'm lucky if I can keep my mind focused on the homily for the whole 20 minutes. So, this, (and the fact that so many of our guests weren't Catholic) is why I insisted on those incredibly lengthy programs-- I wanted y'all to be able to follow along if you weren't good at following along without visual cues to work from (like me). Anyway, I did well at staying focused during the ceremony (thank goodness! Of all times to stay focused and in-the-moment during worship, that's a high priority one!) EXCEPT, I couldn't let it go when Fr. Dick blessed our rings, and told us about the precious gold metal symbolizing the value of our vows to each other. I was thinking "Wait! They're not gold! Go back and fix that part! The blessing of our rings should be accurate! It's important! Ahhhhhh!" My brain stalled there, and it took a moment or 2 to re-focus on what was going on and remember that this particular thing was far from important, and I should pay attention to what was actually going on. And now you know what goes on in Brianna's brain. It's a bit scary, but you're reading this still, so I guess I haven't entirely scared you away yet.

Looking at this again, I guess we didn't want to stop holding hands, once we were doing it again when my wedding band was on. Our fingers on my left/his right hand are still intertwined. :)

So, now we were married. With that, Kenneth has gained a wife who writes fairly incoherent blog posts at 1:00am on a Saturday morning, rarely vacuums, and never hears the dog whine to go out in the middle of the night. And I get a husband who wakes up with the dog in the middle of the night, and makes a great big breakfast while I sleep in every weekend. Sigh... I love ~~his pancakes~~ him.

Anyway, here's a shot of those rings we exchanged:

And now, I feel like I should apologize if you had M&Ms after this picture was taken. I didn't know they were put in the M&M bowl. But I don't actually feel THAT bad since I haven't heard any reports of people getting sick from the wedding because of it. That, and I LOVE that picture.

Enough rambling from me for one evening (morning). To bed with me... more pictures later this weekend, hopefully.

Wedding Pictures Part 8: A Little Help from some Cousins

2010-07-07T23:01:00.000-07:00

Perhaps when you have a cold and you're stuck at home, you do reasonable things like sleep, drink lots of fluids, and maybe read or watch TV. I'm not good at that "taking care of yourself" thing, because after I get bored with sleeping, reading and TV, I started to vacuum, make a few phone calls, and work on our wedding album. At one point, I actually tried to do some yoga, but I caught on to that being a bad idea fast, so that's when I started vacuuming... which also turned out to be a bad idea. Oops.

Anyhow, lessons learned. So, while I was not resting like I should have tonight, I came across this photo:

Which brought to mind what happened just before. When we arrived at the reception location, I wanted to touch up my lipstick before things really got started. I ducked into the restroom, and ran into my cousins Ashley and Patty. They offered to help me take care of other things while I was in there. I feel pretty lucky having cousins willing to hold my wedding dress in a bathroom stall for me. I was able to get by just fine on my own, but they hung around, just in case. I love them. Not just for what they were willing to do/did on my wedding day, but because that memory made me laugh a little on an otherwise miserable day. Yay for Patty and Ashley!

Wedding Pictures Part 7: Words from the Lord

2010-06-29T23:58:00.000-07:00

"God, who created man out of love, also calls him to love-- the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being... their mutual love becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves man. It is good, very good in the Creator's eyes."

-- Catechism of the Catholic Church, Article 7: The Sacrament of Matrimony #1604*

*********************************************************************************

When we reached the altar, we hugged our parents,

Took our places at the altar for the opening prayer,

Then settled in our seats...

(Um... I promise we were both really happy on our wedding day. I guess we just took our readings VERY seriously. Just don't look at our faces and focus on those pretty Easter lilies.)

To hear Kenneth's sweet cousin Emily, who has opened her house to me/us several times over the last year, give the first reading, speaking words she can probably relate to, having just been married to her husband Dylan about a year and a half ago...

Genesis 2: 18-24

The LORD God said: "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him." So the LORD God formed out of the ground various wild animals and various birds of the air, and he brought them to the man to see what he would call them; whatever the man called each of them would be its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, all the birds of the air, and all the wild animals; but none proved to be the suitable partner for the man. So the LORD God cast a deep sleep on the man, and while he was asleep, he took out one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. The LORD God then built up into a woman the rib that he had taken from the man. When he brought her to the man, the man said: "This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; This one shall be called 'woman,' for out of 'her man' this one has been taken." That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.

We continued with the responsorial psalm, #145: "The LORD is good to all/and compassionate toward all his works..." And the congregation responded, "I will praise your name for ever, my king and my God."

We progressed to the second reading, Colossians 3:12-17, my favorite from the entire Bible, and read by the best person in the world for it-- my humble, kind-hearted, genuine, and totally family-oriented Uncle John.

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

If those aren't words to live by, in your marriage and elsewhere, then I don't know what is.

Before we could move to the homily, and the rest of the ceremony, there was one more reading, the Gospel, read by Fr. Dick.

Matthew 19:3-6

Some Pharisees approached him, and tested him, saying, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?" He said in reply, "Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?' So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate."

The reading is fairly legalistic-- no flowery love-dovey language here-- but it certainly lays things out very plainly. Marriage is forever-- according to the Catholic church, and for us. And that's how we look at our marriage-- divorce is not an option.

Now, what Fr. Dick had to say about it in his homily, I have no clue. I know I listened during his sermon... but I really don't remember at all what he said. However, I do remember how earnest he looked while he said it, and how he spoke it while mostly looking at us.

And, since the others weren't all that flattering of Fr. Dick, here's a fantastic picture of our priest. Would you believe he's going to be retiring soon? I'm not going to put his age online, but he's about 20 years older than he looks!

Up next, rings, vows, and if I'm feeling productive, the first time I cry in during our ceremony. I promise the reception will be more lively postings. We had an open bar... and lots of fun pictures to prove it.

Exciting News!

2010-06-28T16:22:00.000-07:00

After a year and a half of trying to get a promotion at his job working for REI, and after trying to get that promotion in 20 different cities, he finally got a supervisor position! The best part is that we don't even have to move, because he'll be working only 40 minutes from where we are living now! He was applying to jobs everywhere that had a good grad school for me; you name it, he applied for a promotion there-- Austin, DC, Charleston, Tuscan, Boston, San Francisco, LA, Portland, NY--- he applied for a promotion everywhere because it just didn't look like it was going to work out or be a good move for him to stay in Seattle.

Then, a couple weeks ago, this spot in Lynnwood opened up. We really didn't have high hopes for it since it was a very competitive pool of applicants and he had not indicated that it was a first choice for us (we didn't know it was even a possibility to stay in Seattle before this). BUT HE STILL GOT IT!

After the wedding, this process has been the most stressful part of our lives together. So much of our life was on hold because we just didn't know where or when things would finally work out for his promotion. We had to plan our lives like we were going to live in Seattle forever, while also assuming that we would have 2-4 weeks to move when the time came... wherever that was. So hooray! With the wedding and this promotion, it feels like we can start the next chapter in our lives. :)

60 Years

2010-06-23T23:20:00.000-07:00

60 years

7 children

15 grandchildren

14 great-grandchildren (I might be forgetting someone)

dozens of cats and dogs

hundreds of baseball games later...

Last weekend, Kenneth and I went to California to celebrate my grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary. I'm totally blown away by the idea that my grandparents have been married so long, and it's now our goal-- to be celebrating our 60 happy years of marriage in 2070.

Here's to my grandparents and that wonderful family they created!

Grandpa and Grandma Johnston head out on their honeymoon (at least that's what Aunt Michelle and I decided this was a picture of).

Grandma and Grandpa now, with my dad and step-mom.

I don't know that I've ever seen Grandma look so cute! She got her hair done, a new pantsuit, and pretty pearls all for the party. Looks like Grandpa is happy about it too. ;)

Dad and Christine celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary June 30, so both couples have big milestones to celebrate.

Granted, I've probably only become really aware of their relationship in the last 15 years, but it's been remarkable watching how Grandma and Grandpa have grown even closer in that time. The first time I remember Grandma and Grandpa being really affectionate with each other was when Grandpa had his triple (or was it quadruple? I don't remember) bypass surgery. Grandma held his hand right up to the point when he was wheeled into the operating room. Another time when I was visiting, Grandpa showed me how he finally had a diamond put in Grandma's ring--- he was so proud, or Grandpa showing me a pair of earrings he got for Grandma for Valentine's Day.

They've been through a lot in the last couple years even. Grandpa's health continues to decline (he has advanced Parkinson's disease, diabetes, other health issues), Grandma has had a pacemaker inserted and other health issues of her own, they have had a son battle (and continue to battle) cancer, two children have open heart surgeries, the death of a sibling... but also the weddings of grandchildren and the birth of more great-grandchildren.

One last anecdote on their marriage: Grandpa often says that the key to a long lasting marriage is to forget to wear your hearing aid. But this weekend, he had some genuine advice to Kenneth and I: "If you have a disagreement, don't say anything, just sleep on it. If you still feel like you should say something the next day, go ahead. But wait until then." Because of his Parkinson's, it's getting hard for Grandpa to talk, but he made a point of making sure he told me his best piece of advice for marriages.

Highlights from the party: Hearing the song the guitarist from their favorite local band wrote for them about their marriage and parenting, the toasts from my aunts and uncles, getting my own copy of some of their wedding photos, spending time with family... and karaoke in the hotel bar afterwards. Hehe. Here are some pictures.

Check out Grandma's polka dot wedding dress! So cute!

(I could have scanned in a picture of this instead of using this picture I took of the poster, but I'm lazy.)

Johnston family tree. The extended family are pictured on the lemons... make of that what you will.

The cakes were decked out in Dodger colors!

Me, Alexis, and my cousin Jenny's daughter, Cassidy. Me and my Tia, (Aunt Diana. Her son, my cousin Ben, is getting married in a few weeks!)

Dad and Christine, with their daughters and son-in-laws (2 now!)

BTW-- Natalie, in the sky blue dress in the middle, MADE her dress. How cool is she?

And what you were waiting for-- Sara and I doing karaoke. For the record, I had more fans than Sara. Although Sara probably deserves more points than I do for effort and use of props.

Sara tackles the music break with some sweet air guitar action. I awkwardly dance.