Miracle Baby

Not sure that anyone reads this-- I certainly don't think many do at this point. (Or ever did...) But regardless, if I can help get the word out about this, it's worth posting here.

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X is a miracle. Which is not to say that every child isn't a miracle-- because every child certainly is. But really, everything about him is miraculous. It's a miracle that we conceived him so easily. It's a miracle that he does not have the genetic disease I'm a carrier for. It's a miracle that he isn't even a carrier like me. It's a miracle that he was a champ through the genetic testing we did when he was just 11.5 weeks old (in utero). It's a miracle that he stayed put despite my constant contractions and pre-term labor starting at 29 weeks. And, it's a miracle he made it through his complicated birth.

But the miracle I'm most thankful for is his set of good, healthy 46 chromosomes. There was a 25-30% chance that he would have a disorder called Patau Syndrome, and a 50% chance that he would be a carrier like me. And because of the effect aging has on these things, once I turn 30, the chance of passing on my bad chromosome will increase exponentially. So, one of my biggest fears around having a second child is the fact that, for now, our chances of having a healthy child are good-- but not as good as they were with X.

This past summer, an old co-worker lived out what I consider to be one of my biggest fears. This former co-worker of mine isn't someone I would ever consider to be more than an acquaintance, but the journey she has been on has impacted me tremendously. In June, after an uneventful pregnancy, she gave birth to a perfect baby boy they named Noah. Within 24 hours though, it was clear that something was wrong. He wasn't breathing well, and he was placed in the NICU.  He just never really thrived, his body wasn't quite working properly, and after 12.5 days she and her husband received confirmation that their son had a terminal genetic condition. They took him off the machines, held him for the first time in days, and on the 13th day of his life, they held their boy as he went to heaven.

While most people respond to situations like this saying "I can't imagine..." My response was "I already did imagine, and now they're living my most awful imaginings." But she and her husband have traveled this journey with more grace and courage than I can fathom. And their boy has already had a amazing impact on this world. For myself, my fear around passing on Patau Syndrome has decreased. I still fear the whole idea of it... but I see how it's possible to live through experiencing that fear.

As a way to honor Noah's life, and to promote his legacy, Noah's parents have started #13daysofrainbows. (A little bit more information is on Noah's mom's blog, which you can get to by clicking here.) Starting on what would've been Noah's 6 month birthday, and in the 13 days leading to Christmas, Noah's parents are encouraging people to do an act of kindness, or if you're feeling ambitious, 13 acts of kindness. Either way, they're encouraging these acts of kindness to be done in Noah's name. Then, the idea is to take a picture of that act and post it on Facebook and Instagram with the hashtag #13daysofrainbows.

I'll be doing something this Advent, for Noah. Because God knows that it was only by a miracle that my healthy, perfect toddler sleeps soundly in his bedroom.

Please join me in spreading a little bit of Christmas cheer, and in honoring Noah with #13daysofrainbows.

Potty training at 16 months

*This post is not for non-parents or those that don't care to read of my son's bowel movements.*

This guy just pooped on the big potty.

He stood up during his bath and he had that look on his face. So I asked him "Are you pooping?" He said "yeah." So I asked if he wanted to sit on the potty, to which he said "yeah" and made the baby sign for potty. Then I put him on and he did! And he was happy about it! And when he was done, he made the baby sign for all done and pointed to toilet paper. He was proud of himself too. And yesterday in the car, I heard him straining in the back seat so I asked if he wanted to poop on a potty. He said "yeah", so I pulled the car over, into the Taco Time lot. We didn't make it to the restroom before he went in his diaper, but still, for a kid under 18 months, I'm pretty proud.

It'll still be a while before he's actually potty trained I'm sure. It's slow going. But we're making progress, and I'm always thrilled with having one less diaper to wash.

Twenty- twelve

I wrote this a few weeks ago...

I feel so blessed that this year has been a good one for my family. Ken, Xavier, and I are all healthy and doing well. We bought a house. I started law school. Ken got two promotions and started working at headquarters (which means normal hours, and weekends off!).  Xavier continues to amaze us as he learns and grows, giving us glimpses of who he is going to be. Our life is very busy, but it’s a good one.

This year, the only tragedy that touched my family was the death of my stepmother’s father. And even then, I don’t believe that tragedy is the right word. He had been fighting a recurring form of leukemia off and on for almost 10 years, and had finally decided it was time to stop fighting and let nature take its course. We were prepared and knew that his death would occur in the fall. More importantly, he was prepared, and died in his home, alone with his wife. How he wanted it. Death isn't easy, but this is how death is supposed to be—in old age, at peace with God, leaving behind children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, after a long career you enjoyed, in a home filled with reminders of a productive, well-lived life. 

Since becoming a mother, when I hear of random shootings, like the one in Sandy Hook Elementary, my heart goes out to the victims and their families. I pray for the lives prematurely ended. But more and more, I also think of the mother of the murderer. The grief she must feel in losing a child—to madness, and usually, to both madness and suicide. No matter how black your child’s heart, you’re still a mother, and you must still grieve with that loss. I think of the shame she probably feels. And the guilt. And the questions she must be asking— “If only I had seen the signs, could I have stopped this?” And then, how do you move on with your life when your son is responsible for something like this? So, my heart breaks for the families of the shooters, just as much as it does for the victims and their families.

At Christmas, especially this Christmas, I think often of Mary. This year, I’m thinking about how very pregnancy is a venture into the unknown— to give life to another is to accept that you cannot control the path that life will take. Only God knows the path He sets for each of us. Mary knew that the little life she carried in her womb would not be an ordinary one, but could she have seen how His story would unfold? Could she have anticipated that, years later, her precious Son would be executed—and that He did not choose to avoid it, but accepted it as part of God’s plan? And that she would be able to do nothing to stop it or change it? That her Son would be the ultimate sacrifice for humanity? I can't help but think she must have asked God "Why my son? Can't it happen another way?"

...

And, this year, I’m thinking more about the next part to the story. The resurrection. Jesus died. Mary experienced the loss of a child. But then, her son conquered death and rose again. Through His death, new life was given to us.

I hope that’s something we can all take with us in the coming year.

I spent a lot of time meditating on this specific part of the Christmas story this Christmas time...

Luke 1:26-38, 46-55

Announcement of the Birth of Jesus.^*

In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a town of Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David, and the virgin’s name was Mary.

And coming to her, he said, “Hail, favored one! The Lord is with you.”

But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.

Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High,^* and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father, and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”

But Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?”^*

And the angel said to her in reply, “The holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God.

And behold, Elizabeth, your relative, has also conceived^* a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren; for nothing will be impossible for God.”

Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her….

The Canticle of Mary.

And Mary said:^*

“My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord;

my spirit rejoices in God my savior.

For he has looked upon his handmaid’s lowliness;

behold, from now on will all ages call me blessed.

The Mighty One has done great things for me,

and holy is his name.

His mercy is from age to age

to those who fear him.

He has shown might with his arm,

dispersed the arrogant of mind and heart.

He has thrown down the rulers from their thrones

but lifted up the lowly.

The hungry he has filled with good things;

the rich he has sent away empty.

He has helped Israel his servant,

remembering his mercy,

according to his promise to our fathers,

to Abraham and to his descendants forever.”

Judges and their puns

Today's homework featured a case where a yarn supplier had a contract dispute with a distributor. The judge made the most of it. Here are some puns in their opinion:

• Textile Unlimited, Inc. (‘‘Textile’’) claims that ATTBMH and Company, Inc. (‘‘ATTBMH’’) is, in the parlance of the industry, spinning a yarn... 
• ATTBMH counters that Textile is warping the facts...
• Over the course of ten months of this tangled affair...
• Each followed a similar pattern...
• With arbitration looming...
• The underpinnings of arbitration theory...
• One of the threads running through [the theory]...

Xavier at 12 months

It's been a long year, but a wonderful one. Xavier is such a sweet kid, and a wonderful addition to our lives.

Stats: He's still a wee boy, at only 18lbs. He's in the 26% percentile for height at 29 inches.  He has 15 teeth at last count, and he seems to be getting ready to work on #16. He has been walking exclusively for several weeks now, though today he crawled a bit and I'm not sure what to make of that. He has been sleeping through the night most of the time for a while now. Lately, he has also been sleeping in until 8 or so (with a wake up for a diaper change around 6, but usually he wants to go back to sleep after). Along with the later wake up, he's been dropping to one nap... we still have some 2 nap days, but we're on the one nap train and I like it.

Other things... He's persistent, and already quite opinionated and independent. He wants to do things on his own, and I do my best to encourage it, hard as that sometimes is because usually it's messy or time consuming. He wants to eat with a fork and spoon, but can't do it on his own yet. He tries to put on his shoes, socks, and pants, but can't yet. He can put at least an arm into or out of his shirts and coats. He imitates us and wants to help with whatever we're doing-- whether it's a diaper change or sweeping the floors. He helps open and close doors, turn off lights, hold the dogs leash... he just wants to be part of whatever it is we're doing.

He's starting to really communicate with us, which has been so exciting. He claps his hands once (that's his way of doing the "more" sign), and points at things he wants. And he'll push it away if we grab the wrong thing. He has signed mama and dad once each, and he says "RAWR!" (when he sees pictures of dinosaurs/alligators/dragons [he doesn't know the difference]). He also says "dog" and "dad". I show him pictures of us, and he can point to "mama" and "dad" in the pictures. He bends his elbows and holds up his hands palms up when you ask a question, especially "Where is it?" He waves bye-bye. He claps his hands when you say "Good job!" or "Yay!" He bends his knees and "dances" when he wants to hear music. He sings/babbles along when people sing (like at church). He reaches up and grabs my legs when he wants held. He understands "no," but is only just starting to listen when told. And by that, I mean he did it, once. He understands "switch"-- when he has something in one hand that he needs to move to the other in order to put the other arm into his jacket.

He's cautious with strangers. He'll smile at them, but does not want to be held, thankyouverymuch.  But maybe, sometimes, if he's in a good mood, he'll be ok with being held by someone new. Sometimes.  Definitely not if Mama is an option instead though. But, with people he knows, he'll give them hugs and reach to be held by them. He's a sweet boy.

He likes things with wheels, and musical instruments. He LOVES animals. He laughs and gets so giddy around animals, or even when seeing pictures of them in his books. He likes books and turning the pages. I've caught him alone in his room a few times, turning pages in his books. He sits there laughing at the horse in The Very Busy Spider, or at pictures of pigs or dogs. Who knew pigs, dogs and horses were so silly?

He's not perfect, and I do try to maintain perspective-- I'm quite aware that my son is not the second coming of the Messiah, and he has his difficult moments just like every kid. Case in point: After  throwing a temper tantrum in the pediatrician's office, and while also demonstrating that he's smart and independent (and thus, developmentally ready), the pediatrician said "usually I don't talk to parents about starting to discipline their kids and using time-outs until 15-18 months, but with your kid, I think you need to and I think he's ready."

But, overall, he is pretty wondeful. Love him.

1 year of parenthood! 1 year as a family of 3 (or 4 with Juniper)-- Yay!

Halloween

12 months-- and the end of our monthly photo shoots. 

I think after the 9 month pictures, these are my favorite-- they're my giggly, active, silly, happy boy. 

Weaning

When X was born, Kenneth and I wanted X to be breastfed. I'll be honest, most of my motivation came from 2 sources: the fact that breast milk is free and the convenience of breastfeeding vs bottles. Yes, breast is best and there's lots of scientific evidence for why, but I also know too many people who were formula fed and/or choose to formula feed their babies to feel like breastfeeding is the only acceptable way to raise a healthy, happy child.

One happy baby-- breastfed for 12 months!

It was A LOT of work early on-- breastfeeding is HARD, even though it seems like it should be so easy and natural. I don't think it stopped being a chore (and sometimes even stressful) until X was 2.5 months old. And I'll be honest, I definitely had some resentment to work through. ("Ugh, this sucks. I have a baby attached to my chest around the clock, night and day, but Kenneth gets to do stuff like EAT and SLEEP and GO TO THE BATHROOM WHEN HE NEEDS TO.")  

But I'm really glad we stuck with it. The lazy side of me has looooooooved that I've never had to pack a bottle and formula in the diaper bag, that I could nurse him quicker than I could make a bottle, that I've never had to run to the store to buy formula. I love that X has enjoyed nursing, that it comforted him in ways that nothing else-- not even the pacifier-- could. And I loved being that source of comfort. And, while my health was far from being my sole motivation, the fact that I lost the baby weight pretty quickly and easily, and that my lifetime cancer risks are lower, all because we breastfed for as long as we did-- well, that's icing on the cake.

But a week ago, 1 week after his birthday, I decided it was time to let X choose whether to wean or not. The goal was to make it to a year, and I was bound and determined to make that happen if I could.  But, X had been showing less and less interest in nursing over the last 3 months or so, and I knew he would move on if I let him. So, once we got to the one year mark, and a supply of new sippy cups arrived from Amazon, I switched to a "don't offer, don't refuse" policy. And after that, he quickly weaned himself. He has even learned and started using the baby sign for "milk" in less than a week. We've gone 3 days now without nursing at all, and I have no more milk to offer, even if X wanted to nurse. (Although I do have a respectable freezer stash that we're now mixing in with his cow milk, and it will probably last us another month or 2.)

The last day X clearly and excitedly asked to nurse: the day we celebrated his birthday.
Somehow, that seems perfect.

It's bittersweet. I'm glad  my body is entirely mine once again (after almost 2 years, between pregnancy and breastfeeding), and I'm glad we met the one year goal. I'm proud that I stuck with it and gave that gift to myself and my child... But I'm sad too-- X is the one who made the decision, who let us know that he didn't need or want me to nourish him anymore. It's the first of many times over the course of our lives where X is going to show me that he doesn't need his mama-- he's growing up.

1 year ago today..

One year ago today, my normal, everyday-since-29-weeks-contractions started coming closer together. They went from 6 minutes apart to 4 minutes apart between 6am and 8am. Kenneth called his boss and took the day off work (even though I said I was probably just having my normal contractions and that he should go to work still). And then an hour later, when the contractions were still coming at 4 or even 3 minutes apart, Kenneth convinced me that maybe I should call the doctor after all, that maybe I actually was in labor. They hurt, but not that bad. I was feeling good about this labor thing-- oh yeah, I can handle this.

And 21 hours later, I was finally admitted to the hospital-- which at the time, seemed like the biggest barrier between us and our baby. Being admitted meant I'd finally made some progress, and my body was finally starting to do its thing. Whoo hoo! 

And, it meant an epidural. God bless epidurals and all the fine anesthesiologists of our great land who give them to laboring women. 

It was still 12 hours after that before we saw these little toes...

and this little face...

... and became a family of 3 (4 if you count Juniper). 

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Since having Xavier, I've decided birthdays aren't just about celebrating the person in question-- but also about the mom who did all the work to get that person here. 

So, 

GO ME! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY OF LABOR AND ATTEMPTING TO PUSH A BABY OUT FOR 3 HOURS BEFORE HAVING MAJOR SURGERY DAY TO ME!

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And yes, happy day-labor-started-with-you day to my boy. You did your part in that birthing-thing too. It must have been tough getting squeezed every 4 minutes for 37 hours, getting your head rammed against my pelvis bones for 3 hours, and then having to be pulled out of your happy little home inside me. Sorry about that, but you can't remember it anyway, so really, I don't feel too bad. :) 

 Can't wait to celebrate and call you a 1 year old big boy tomorrow. Dad and Mama love you to pieces.

Love these

When X was maybe 3 or 4 months old, we started calling him our little dinosaur from time to time because he made dinosaur type noises. Now his room is dinosaur themed (as in, we've painted it bright green and put up a few dinosaur prints-- real over the top, you know). Anyhow, he sort of says "dog" or "dad"-- sometimes. And it's not totally clear that he's saying it intentionally. But, he does say "RAWR!" when he points at the dinosaur prints in his room. And sometimes he'll say it when I ask him "What do dinosaurs say?" or "Are you a dinosaur?" So, "RAWR!"-- I can say is among his first words with absolute certainty. So stinkin' cute. (And very useful right? Because telling the grown ups what dinosaurs say is a really useful thing to communicate...? Guess we should have been working  harder on "eat" or  "mama" or something. Oh well.)

So, that's the story behind why I think these are so great. We might have to put up one or several in X's room. So cute that I thought I'd share.

The Real Story on that McDonalds Coffee Lawsuit...

I thought this was interesting. At least, it made me think a bit differently of the supposed frivolous lawsuit. I mean, yeah, coffee is hot-- but so hot-- 180 degrees!?-- that your burns require skin grafts, and McDonalds hadn't done anything after 700 similar cases? I dunno McDonalds... I think now I'd say you had it coming and the plaintiff only actually got less than $650,000. Which I imagine may have covered her medical bills and not much else-- I'm guessing skin grafts and 2 hospitalizations are not cheap.

Sometimes Law School Homework is Fun

Law school homework is almost all reading judge's rulings and then figuring out how it relates to other judge's rulings in order to come up with some principal of how the law is supposed to work. Which is interesting to me, although sometimes tedious. So the textbook authors nicely throw in the more interesting/bizarre cases and opinions when it will still get the point across. This is the best so far... it's really funny, so I know it's not everyone's thing, but trust me, it's really worth the read. I even deleted the parts that weren't necessary to get the jokes from the judge to make it easier for you. 

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REPUBLIC OF BOLIVIA, Plaintiff,
v.
PHILIP MORRIS COMPANIES, INC., Defendant.
United States District Court, Southern District of Texas, Galveston Division. March 1, 1999.

ORDER OF TRANSFER

Plaintiff, the Republic of Bolivia, brings this action to recover from numerous tobacco companies various health care costs it allegedly incurred in treating illnesses its residents suffered as a result of tobacco use.... For the following reasons, the Court exercises its authority and discretion to TRANSFER this case to the United States District Court for the District of Columbia.

This is one of at least six similar actions brought by foreign governments in various courts throughout the United States. The governments of Guatemala, Panama, Nicaragua, Thailand, Venezuela, and Bolivia have filed suit in the geographically diverse locales of Washington, D.C., Puerto Rico, Texas, Louisiana, and Florida, in both state and federal courts. Why none of these countries seems to have a court system their own governments have confidence in is a mystery to this Court. 

Moreover, given the tremendous number of United States jurisdictions encompassing fascinating and exotic places, the Court can hardly imagine why the Republic of Bolivia elected to file suit in the veritable hinterlands of Brazoria County, Texas. The Court seriously doubts whether Brazoria County has ever seen a live Bolivian ... even on the Discovery Channel. 

Though only here by removal,  this humble Court by the sea is certainly flattered by what must be the worldwide renown of rural Texas courts for dispensing justice with unparalleled fairness and alacrity, apparently in common discussion even on the mountain peaks of Bolivia.

Still, the Court would be remiss in accepting an obligation for which it truly does not have the necessary resources. Only one judge presides in the Galveston Division-which currently has before it over seven hundred cases and annual civil filings exceeding such number-and that judge is presently burdened with a significant personal situation which diminishes its ability to always give the attention it would like to all of its daunting docket obligations, despite genuinely heroic efforts to do so.

And, while Galveston is indeed an international seaport, the capacity of this Court to address the complex and sophisticated issues of international law and foreign relations presented by this case is dwarfed by that of its esteemed colleagues in the District of Columbia who deftly address such awesome tasks as a matter of course.

Indeed, this Court, while doing its very best to address the more prosaic matters routinely before it, cannot think of a Bench better versed and more capable of handling precisely this type of case, which requires a high level of expertise in international matters. In fact, proceedings brought by the Republic of Guatemala are currently well underway in that Court in a related action, and there is a request now before the Judicial Panel on Multidistrict Litigation to transfer to the United States District Court for the District of Columbia all six tobacco actions brought by foreign governments, ostensibly for consolidated treatment. Such a Bench, well-populated with genuinely renowned intellects, can certainly better bear and share the burden of multidistrict litigation than this single judge division, where the judge moves his lips when he reads....

Regardless of, and having nothing to do with, the outcome of Defendants request for transfer and consolidation, it is the Court's opinion that the District of Columbia, located in this Nation's capital, is a much more logical venue for the parties and witnesses in this action because, among other things, Plaintiff has an embassy in Washington, D.C., and thus a physical presence and governmental representatives there, whereas there isn't even a Bolivian restaurant anywhere near here. Although the jurisdiction of this Court boasts no similar foreign offices, a somewhat dated globe is within its possession. While the Court does not therefrom profess to understand all of the political subtleties of the geographical transmogrifications ongoing in Eastern Europe, the Court is virtually certain that Bolivia is not within the four counties over which this Court presides, even though the words Bolivia and Brazoria are a lot alike and caused some real, initial confusion until the Court conferred with its law clerks. Thus, it is readily apparent, even from an outdated globe such as that possessed by this Court, that Bolivia, a hemisphere away, ain't in south-central Texas, and that, at the very least, the District of Columbia is a more appropriate venue (though Bolivia isn't located there either).

Furthermore, as this Judicial District bears no significant relationship to any of the matters at issue, and the judge of this Court simply loves cigars, the Plaintiff can be expected to suffer neither harm nor prejudice by a transfer to Washington, D.C., a Bench better able to rise to the smoky challenges presented by this case, despite the alleged and historic presence there of countless smoke-filled rooms. 

Consequently, pursuant to 28 U.S.C. 1404(a), for the convenience of parties and witnesses, and in the interest of justice, this case is hereby TRANSFERRED to the United States District Court for the District of Columbia.

IT IS SO ORDERED.

X's nursery

We're finally making headway on X's room. We still need to put in a new light fixture, put in a new baseboard heater, buy & put up black out roman shades, paint the baseboard trim white, figure out where to hang his crucifix & baptism candle, & maybe paint a corner with magnet paint/put up some fun textures on the walls... And maybe some more things to make it feel dinosaur-y... But besides those things, it's done. Ha. So here's the start.

In case you were wondering what would happen if Jim Hensen was a dog breeder

Why dogs are unreliable house cleaners

Juniper has made an excellent helper since she came into our lives. She helps keep the floors clean. She helps keep the baby clean. She helps keep the high chair clean. If there's food somewhere it isn't supposed to be, she's quick to volunteer to dispose of the mess.

Except this. I made a huge mess in the kitchen by dropping a smoothie, and she was entirely uninterested in the smoothie clean up. She wanted nothing to do with it. I told her she was fired. She asked when dinner would be served and started licking herself.

Life Changers

My mom has been sending out a couple of emails to my sisters and I about food and what's healthy, what's not. Which got me thinking about some books I've read that were life changers and go with the emails she has been sending, so I thought I'd give a little book review here. Maybe my sisters and mom will appreciate the review?

In Defense of Food: "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." Michael Pollan followed up the very good but very thick Omnivore's Dilemma with this book, and that phrase is what his eating philosophy boils down to. It's not about dieting. It's about eating real food-- not chemicals from a lab, but things grown or raised in a field. Not because other foods are full of nasty things that have unknown impacts on our bodies, (and you'd probably steer clear of if you actually knew what it was and where it came from), but also it's better for the environment. That's "eat food". The rest is probably easier to figure out, so I won't explain what is meant by "Not too much. Mostly plants." Anyway, this book has changed how I make decisions about what food to buy, how I cook, and how I understand American agriculture and our food culture. It's an easy read (quicker than Omnivore's Dilemma!) and it just seemed to make sense, for the health of both for humans and the planet. I take it (like all diet advice) with a healthy dose of skepticism, but the great thing about his approach is that it's just common sense.

I've seen this beautiful edition of Food Rules at Anthropologie, but I'm sure it's elsewhere, too. It's full of gorgeous illustrations; even though I have an older edition, I've been tempted to buy this one because it's so pretty.

Food Rules: A common complaint after reading In Defense if Food is "great, I know all this background information on why I should change my eating habits, but I don't get how to make it work in practice." Enter Food Rules. Here, Pollan explains how to put his approach to food into practice with fairly easy to follow rules. For example, here are some rules:

• "Treat treats as treats"
• "Shop the outer perimeter of the supermarket"
• "Eat whatever you like, as long as you make it from scratch, at home."
• "Don't buy anything your mother/grandmother wouldn't recognize (such as GoGurt)"
• "Don't buy anything with an ingredient you can't picture in your pantry" (xanthum gum, anyone?)
• "Don't buy anything with more than 5 ingredients." 
• "Eat all your meals at a table-- not at your desk or your couch or..." (I'm bad at following this one.)

There are exceptions to the rules, and of course it's hard to follow the rules 100% of the time, but this book made it so simple to put what I read in In Defense of Food into practice. I read this 18+ months ago and I am still grocery shopping, eating, and making food related decisions with this book as a guide. I'm not saying I keep it with me and refer to it while I'm strolling the aisles at Safeway, but it made enough of an impact that I still mentally flip through the rules as I decide what to put in my shopping cart.

And a non-food book: The Happiness Project. This too is a life changer. We read this in my book club, and at first I was hesitant. "Really? A self-help book?" (It is not a self-help book, actually. And if it were, it would be awesome. The book club ladies do not choose bad books.) This is a woman's memoir from spending a year doing things that have been proven to actually make you happier. In the end, she distills her advice to things you can do that really do make you a happier person, and nothing in it is rocket science. Clearing clutter, getting enough sleep (and improving the sleep you're getting), being true to yourself-- all are things that just make you a happier person, it turns out. Some of these things are to help manage stress, some help you stay more organized, some make you a better spouse or parent or friend, but all in all, it adds up to an increase in happiness.

I have to mention that the one phrase she mentions relating to parenthood that resonates the most is this:

"The days are long, but the years are short." (Click the link to watch a video on it.) Countless times over the last 9 months, I've said this to myself as I've gotten out of bed to take care of Xavier in the middle of the night. Yes, I am so exhausted at the end of every long day-- and by the way, they all are long days, when I'm home during the day with X, and going to school at night-- but someday, if I'm lucky, I will look back at this time and marvel at how quickly it passed and how valuable these days of raising my son were. When I remember this phrase, everything changes and the challenges of parenthood on that particular day don't seem as big or important. My perspective changes. The days are long, but the years are short.

Since reading The Happiness Project, I've been following her blog, which has lots of tips that just make life, well, happier.  My stress level has gone through the roof with starting law school, and it's hard to find energy to do the things she recommends in her book and her blog, but the truth is, I'm happier when I do. It's worth it. Because the days are long but the years are short.

So there you have it, 3 life changing books I've read in the last 2 years. Have you read them? If you haven't, you should!

9 Months

(Catching up, 8 month pictures)

8 months

8 months

I feel like I keep saying this, but this is my favorite age so far.

Sleep: Now that I'm home with X during the day, napping and sleeping have become more routine, and easier because of it. (YAY!!!!!) Plus, we're able to do more activities during the day now that X has dropped down to 2 naps. (Although why are so many things for moms and babies at 9am? That's the most common time [apparently] for babies to have their first nap, so this makes no sense to me.) The downside to falling into a routine is that now X barely naps if he falls asleep anywhere but in a crib. Usually, we can't get him to nap (or nap for long) in the car, in a stroller, or in our arms if we need to. Bummer. He's down to one wake-up  per night most nights. Sometimes 2 if he's hungry at 10pm, sometimes 3 or more when he has a tooth cutting through.

Travel: So far this summer, we've spent a week at the beach, 2 weeks at my in-laws while we were waiting for our house to close, a long weekend in Vancouver visiting my mom, and 4 days days in Spokane. Spokane was tough, but X amazingly kept it together while getting very little sleep, being totally thrown off in terms of routine, and our unusual [for us now] sleeping arrangements (we co-slept in an RV bed for 3 days). He may have done so well because we were more generous in letting him use the pacifier than usual.

Visiting Kenneth's grandma in Spokane

It was hot in Spokane. I loved it, but X was sweaty and covered in sunblock the whole time. 

The new house: The new house with a room just for X has been working out very well. All of us are sleeping better!!! We aren't co-sleeping ever any more, trips to Spokane aside. We are far from being child-proofed though, so the move has been really tricky in that regard. It's hard to live life, chase a very mobile baby, and unpack/paint/take care of a million other new house things. But it's been great to be able to make changes and make our home something that works well for all 4 of us-- Juniper included.

This poor baby has been abandoned on our front porch. Oh wait, that's just an unhappy Xavier.

Busy boy: X is more mobile now... holy smokes, does he take a lot of energy these days. Guess the newfound energy from sleeping more has to go somewhere. He's crawling very proficiently, pulling up, and walking if you hold his hands. He's cruising a little bit too. My mother-in-law keeps saying how her kids walked at 9 months, expecting X to do the same. I think we could still have a month before he walks... but it'll be cutting it close. He has been wanting to walk, trying to walk, and sort of walking (with lots of support) since he's been born-- that's not an exaggeration-- so once he figures out how to keep his balance, he'll be off and... well, not running, but walking.

He plays peek-a-boo with us now, and we're working on waving. He's also started occasionally signing "more", and he makes this funny panting type sound that means "I want that". We're still working on waving bye-bye and mama and daddy. He does not make the "m" sound yet.

We're also still slowly working on infant potty training ("elimination communication"). He did so well the 1st week, but since then it's been about a 20% success rate. We're increasing diaper free time just to try and help him a little... there's no rush (we still don't expect him to actually be potty trained until 2 years old or later), but I'm motivated more by the fact that it will be harder to get him to practice on the potty when it's colder and when he's even more mobile.

Personality: He's still so happy and playful. He can be very serious and observant if he's in a new environment, but once he feels comfortable he just wants to crawl around and get into everything... and put everything in his mouth. He loves to play and figure out how things work, what sounds they make, and how they taste. He's starting to cling more to me now because we're together so much-- it's a blessing and a curse sometimes. These days, he cries when he's left with my mother-in-law on the day she watches him so I can study. But, I know that soon enough he will not want his mama to be so close, so I'm trying to remember to enjoy his clinginess.

His favorite toys are Sophie, my necklaces, a toy musical instrument set, the dog's collar, the dog's leash, the dog, and shoes. Runners up are the pacifier, his socks/shoes, and whatever it is that you are holding and that he wants RIGHT NOW.

He has 9 teeth, and he's working on #10 now. I am SO happy to be almost done with teething. Can't wait to finish-- just 2 more after this one, until the 2 year molars.

Eating: He is eating SO. MUCH. I thought it was a growth spurt... but it seems like it was just him realizing that food is AWESOME because he hasn't stopped eating so much since then.

 He nurses or gets a bottle 8 times a day, but he also eats real food 2 or 3 times a day now. We're mostly past the purees, (although I'll throw a baby puree pouch into the diaper bag sometimes since he likes them, and when we're not home, those can be easier). We keep puffs, freeze-dried fruit, and yogurt melts on hand so we have something that's baby friendly. But he'll eat anything it seems-- cheese, eggs, waffles, hummus, cooked vegetables, chicken, pizza [not my finest mothering moment, feeding my 8 month old Ikea pizza, but he wanted it and I couldn't keep him from grabbing], smoothies, fruit of any kind... and even hamburger (my little sister shared hers with him. He liked it, of course). He might have a soy allergy, unfortunately, but it doesn't seem to be a huge issue if we avoid processed foods.

I'm still amazed at the fact that at 9 months, we're still going strong with nursing. We've overcome mastitis, the heavily distracted 4th month, 3 or 4 nursing strikes, and big problems in the first few weeks of his life. I'm planning to gradually let my supply decrease a little starting in September, but I'm still planning to/hoping to nurse until he reaches 1 year. Only 3 more months to go. Yikes.

I love these 9 month photos-- they are the first that capture him best so far, I think. Crazy hair, big grin, and always on-the-go--that's who our little boy is.