It's about a month to the wedding

And all we can seem to think of is food.

It started with our trip to Cheesecake Factory to celebrate our 1 month to the wedding countdown. (We didn't even go to the place where I won a super sweet gift card currently worth about $250. Yep, it was that big of a deal.) Then, there was our appetizer buffet this weekend. Today, in addition to working on a few other wedding tasks, we got over our disappointment that Life is apparently only on Sunday nights, by making this:

Black & Tan Irish Macaroni and Cheese, and spinach salad.

Friends, that's macaroni and cheese where the noodles are penne cooked in lager, where the cheese sauce features stout beer, and where the cheese is not made by Kraft, but is instead Irish cheddar that's been aged 2 years. YUM! Not exactly healthy though, but it was ok because we did yoga together before a salad dinner yesterday, and we had these for dessert tonight:

YUM-O! You won't mistake them for Betty Crocker's, but they will definitely take care of a chocolate craving-- with NO fat or cholesterol. Kenneth even had 2, they were that good!

This was our first experience cooking together. In our Pre-Marriage class, one of our group discussion questions (tasks?) was to share some activity we do together with the group. Several couples mentioned cooking together. We shrugged and said we like to cook for each other, but never together. Tonight's dinner was the first we have cooked together-- both of us in the kitchen, darting between bubbling pots and measuring spoons. The kitchen was a total mess afterwards, but that's ok-- it gave us time to work together on clean up too.  So maybe we only crossed a couple of things off the wedding to-do list, but we made another small investment in "us." 

Honeymooning

Commonly asked question for the bride and groom #63652: So, where are you going on your honeymoon?

Because of Kenneth's work schedule, better weather, and also because Kenneth and I will be paying for our honeymoon ourselves, we've decided to put off the honeymoon until October.  Where is a great place to go in October?

Peru!

Through Kenneth's employer, REI, he gets 30% off all REI products, including REI Adventures, a discount Brianna will get to after the wedding. Going through REI Adventures, everything will be included, from guides, hotels, meals, and transportation once we arrive in Cusco, Peru. As a bonus, all REI adventures are carbon neutral. So why Peru when REI adventures offers biking through Tuscany, kayaking around Croatia, or safaris in Kenya? Since we went to Italy last year, we thought it would be fun to cross another continent off the list, so that excluded Europe. Africa was out of our price range, actually, all other options were except those in South America. We also wanted some place that would have some historical importance, but no museums per se because we wanted to relax a little more than we did in Italy. So, Peru it was.  

The one problem? As we hike those ancient trails to Machu Picchu, we'll be with our group of 4-15 people. Romantic, right? In the end, we decided that would be ok, because we'll have a mini-moon too.

For 4 days after the wedding, we're off to Edgefield in Troutdale, Oregon. We wanted some place we could drive to, so our options were Leavenworth, Victoria BC, Vancouver BC, Salish Lodge, or Edgefield. We decided on Edgefield because we're familiar with the area (no extra pre-wedding research needed). We love their quirky atmosphere and their affordability. And while I'm sure we're unlikely to need much to do, if we did get bored, Edgefield has us covered with their multiple restaurants, soaking pool, spa, winery, distillery, pub, brewery, and movie theater-- all on-site.

It's official...

Two weeks ago, we took advantage of both of us having Friday afternoon off to go take care of some pretty important business: the marriage license. It was a bit less complicated than I thought it would be-- we didn't have to go to a courthouse, we didn't need to provide birth certificates or blood tests. Just $64 cash handed over at our closest King County Community in exchange for a few forms to fill out. After swearing we were indeed who we said we were, we left with you guessed it-- more paperwork. But now, according to the State of Washington, we can officially get married any day we choose between now and just before the end of April. Whoo hoo!  

In Which the Deciders Finally Make a Decision

When we last left our hero and heroine in the saga to discover the perfect first dance song, our hero and heroine were scratching their heads while wading through a sea of options. After mulling over options again... and again... and again... and again... and even discovering a new nugget of possibility, three paths began to emerge.

First, Israel Kama-who-can-even-say-his-name?* with his beautiful rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World. Dreamy, hopeful lyrics coupled with a laid back vibe. It was definitely a strong contender, but our hero and heroine needed help to picture how dancing to it would look like, or how to cut a 4+ minute song down to a more maneagable length of time. Could the happy couple resist the thought of elegant sways to this island inspired tune?

Next, Can't Take my Eyes Off of You, by Frankie Valli* and the Four Seasons. This is, in fact, "the song" of our valiant adventurers in dancing-land. And who can help but smile remembering Heath Ledger's impressive version in Ten Things I Hate About You? With an upbeat, peppy feel, the mood was juuuuuust right. But the beat changes half way through-- which means extra dance lessons when time and the budget are tight with only two months to go. Would it be worthwhile if it means dancing to their song?

Finally, a new option. Ray LaMontagne's* Best Thing. His soulful, rough-around-the-edges voice is coupled with simple, sweet, and to-the-point lyrics. And the unexpected elements of trumpets at the start and gospel singers in the background are fun and very dance-able. But this song is rapidly gaining in popularity as a first dance song (remember our hero and heroine are seeking something a bit uncommon). It also lacks the sentimentality of Can't Take My Eyes Off of You. Could it be that this song is not in fact, the best thing to twist the plot of this tale?

Still unable to make a decision before the first dance lesson, our protagonists enlisted the help of the first dance experts. The experts dismissed one immediately, then demonstrated dances to the other options. One was clearly the winner and the deciders settled on a first dance song at last. Rejoicing was heard throughout the land... yet the residents of Pick-A-First-Dance-Song-Already!-Land couldn't help but wonder... well, what was the decision?

You'll have to find out at the wedding-- any guesses? (A few people know already-- no telling anyone if Brianna has already blabbed to you!)

Source for pictures: Israel K., Frankie V., Ray L.

The Deciders

Kenneth and I have the same religion, similar values, similar priorities, and the same long-term financial goals. We have some differences too-- decorating styles (Kenneth's eagle bookends vs. my victorian fashion prints), food preferences (I'm soy friendly, he is soy hostile. He likes beef, I'm Bessie averse), and of course, as we've figured out during the wedding planning process, we have different styles of decision making.

I make decisions quickly, and mostly on my own. Case in point: I decided on my dress during my first wedding dress shopping trip, the first week of our engagement. Easy peasy, done in a day.  Sure, sometimes my decisions don't yield the best results, but 9 times out of 10, things work out perfect or close enough for me to live with. Furthermore, I don't always follow the quick decision route either, but quick, gut-based decisions are my go-to kind of decisions. There's usually solid logic behind it, really, it's just that my gut works quicker than my brain. I'm a gut decision maker, and using this and other instances as my proof, I'm thinking my gut is pretty accurate.* I'm what you'd call, a decider.

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As for Kenneth-- well, he's a decider too. But a different kind. He weighs all the options objectively, puts lots of careful consideration into thinking through the consequences and rewards of each option, talks it over with a few trusty advisors and mentors, then goes for it. He's the kind of guy you'd want to be president someday. I'd put an example here, but it's late and an example he'd be ok with me sharing just isn't coming to mind. In the end, his method is trusty, reliable, and by far the wisest. Just not my style.

Normally, this is fine. We each go about our day making lots of decisions and everything's peachy-keen. But when our decision making styles collide, as they do often in wedding planning...

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Ok, it usually doesn't never looks like that. But it is a challenge. We're working on creating a decision making style that's new and different, uniquely us.  Our wedding is the guinea pig... Oooo, we have to choose a baker to make our cake. How do we go about it-- is our priority the cost or the taste? Hey, we need to decide on a rehearsal venue. What factor do we need to talk over first-- the personality of the caterer or the aesthetics of the venue?  Not that we didn't include each other in decision making before, but this is a whole new ball-game.  It really is OUR life now. We're co-pilots steering us down a new, unfamiliar road, rather than strolling hand-in-hand along parallel paths as we were before we were engaged. We're slower at making decisions together, but we're inexperienced and new to this. Like a toddler learning to walk, we can't be expected to make decisions together perfectly or quickly--yet. But before you know it, we'll be running with the best of them. And then, watch out, America. A couple of new deciders are in town.

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*Although any scientist worth their salt would punch more holes in that proof than a slice of Swiss cheese.

In 100 days (or "A Confession")

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In 100 days, we're going to be Mr & Mrs... but Mr. & Mrs. what?

Last weekend, over drinks with a couple friends at City Grill in Portland (yay for happy hour!), I took a deep breath, and made a confession. "I'm going to change my last name." I knew I was taking a risk saying this to one of my friends. You have to understand-- she's not just any friend-- she's the friend to whom I gave my copy of the Feminine Mystique. We bond over our feminism, competition, and MUN. Clearly, I had some explaining to do. So just how did this self-proclaimed feminist decide to change her name?

1. 
   
   
    To be honest, I've never really loved my last name. Or, rather, I'm not totally wild about my name coupled with my last name-- they're well enough on their own. Maybe because of that, I've always felt like my identity was far more closely tied to my first name, so I don't feel like I'm losing any part of myself by changing my last name.
   
   
2. 
   
   
   Sooooo....I'm not actually planning on changing my last name as I am tacking on another last name. My name will become Brianna Nicole J H. Why have just 1 middle name when I can have 2? Lots of women make their maiden name their middle name when they take their husband's last name, but I like my middle name. And maybe it's pride or something but I just couldn't bring myself to drop my last name entirely.
   
   
3. 
   
   
   It's kind of exciting to change my last name. I'm starting a new chapter in my life, and often new chapters are associated with changes to our name. We get a degree, or start a career in a certain field and suddenly our names get things like "Ph.D." and "Reverand" attached to them. So why not a name change when we start a new life with someone? I'm all in favor of those couples where both partners change their name. But that's not something that's interesting to Kenneth, so I'm not pushing it. Besides... what would he change his name to? Would he become a J-H or a H-J? Would we switch last names and take each other's? Would we come up with some fantastic combination of the letters in our names? My head hurts with all the possibilities.
   
   
4. 
   
   
   I'm young. If I were older and had established myself more in business as Brianna J, then I would have other feelings I'm sure. But since I haven't gone too far in my career yet, I don't think I'll confuse too many people by going by another name, but just in case...
   
   
5. 
   
   
   When necessary, during the first year or 2, I can hyphenate when I feel like it might be helpful for people get that Brianna J = Brianna J-H = Brianna H. Granted, legally, my name won't be the hyphenated one, but how often at work do people ask you if the name you sign your emails with is, in fact, your legal name? Didn't think it was that often. So, for a while, my name will be J-H, and just when people get used to it, I'll drop Johnston. Keep people on their toes and all that. :)
   
   

It wasn't enough to make my friends happy, but that's ok sometimes. I'm happy with my decision that in 100 days, when we see you at the church, we'll become Mr. & Mrs. H.  (Y'know, except for those rare times when we're  Mr. H & Mrs. J-H.)

The Clock is Ticking

Not a biological clock though. Phew! Through December, it seemed like everyone kept asking "Are you ready for Christmas?" Great question normally, but not a great one to a bride. Why? Because no one asks it to make me feel stressed, so I know that was NOT the intention from anyone, buuuuuuuuuuuuuut... well, this might give you an idea of how I internally interpreted the question:

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See, I know no one meant to come off that way, but Christmas was at the end of December. What is else is at the end of December? Our 3.5 months to go mark. Eek! Our to-do list on the fridge is still  4 pages long. And on our Knot.com checklist:

All those clocks are also saying we're behind. BUT, we're making progress and I crossed off some of those tasks earlier today. Start crafting invitation wording? DONE. Start program wording? DONE. Research flowers? DONE. Deciding on men will wear? DONE. Find out when Pre-Cana Classes starts and sign up? DONE. Update registry post-showers? DONE. (Sort of. More on that later.) Slowly, setting up the apartment is falling on the priority list as the space becomes more livable and the wedding is getting back to it's rightful place as number one priority. About time 'cause the wedding was starting to get jealous.