4th of July

Every year, Kenneth's mom's family gathers at his grandpa's beach house on the 4th of July. It's a big family, so there are people everywhere, and there's often a line for the bathroom. The house is pretty rustic-- it was never meant to be used so often or by so many people.  But the tradition of gathering as a family each 4th of July makes it a very special place all the same. 

24 week picture. X just keeps getting bigger.

Some of the family at our spot on the beach. (Later that day, when the tide was in, the fire was put out by  the waves. When it's high tide, it's really high tide.) 

Juniper spent lots of time playing with Henry, a chocolate lab puppy--the new addition to Kenneth's aunt & uncle's household. This was Henry's first time in the water, so Juniper was supposed to teach him how to play fetch. Unfortunately, he got distracted and wandered off down the beach with Kenneth's uncle running after him. 

Kenneth used his eagle scout skills to help save fire #2 after the 1st one was covered by water. Unfortunately, we had to head home before we got to enjoy the s'mores made by the fire. Or many of the fireworks. But it was still a great weekend and a great day with family. 

Sticking to my guns

The pictures have nothing to do with the post. But isn't Juniper funny?

I'm finally starting to get to the point that I'm obviously pregnant. You know how when you think someone might be pregnant, but you're not sure and don't want to be rude just in case they happen to just be putting on weight, so you don't say anything? I guess it's obvious enough that I'm pregnant, not possibly-maybe-could be just putting on some weight, because I've had 2 work acquaintances (volunteers) say this week after taking one look at me "Oh my gosh! You're pregnant!" After which, they start rubbing my belly (without asking-- yikes!-- not sure how to politely avoid the belly-touching. Family and friends who ask first = no problem. Strangers and acquaintances just grabbing my belly = weird). Anyway, next, inevitably comes the question my co-workers and those who volunteer or serve as Elders with the church ask next...

"So what's your plan? Are you coming back to work, or...?" 

I'm not sure if this is a pretty normal question to get as a pregnant woman-- even now, when most moms work outside the home in the US, or if I get it more often because the culture at work (co-workers and the congregation) is full of stay-at-home-moms and moms who work part-time. Chances are, if your husband works for Microsoft or any of the other tech companies in the area, you can get by just fine or better than fine with one income or 1 1/2 incomes-- and that's the case with a lot of people in the city I live/work in. So it's understandable that people ask. But either way, my impression is that a lot of people assume that I'll be quitting my job or cutting back on my hours. So, usually I find myself  answering by making justifications and lengthy explanations on our decision for me to continue working full-time after I return from maternity leave. 

And then I realized yesterday what I was doing. I'm trying to prevent these people from judging me and our parenting decisions by rationalizing, justifying, and explaining our decision. Kenneth-- he doesn't usually do this, but around almost everything that I know is seemingly controversial or bucks others' assumptions, I find myself doing justifying our choices.

But that's the thing. The fact is that whether our kid has a parent at home raising him full time, or whether we choose to send him to a daycare or hire a nanny, whether I have a midwife or an OB delivering me, or whether we choose any number of other "controversial" decisions as parents, it shouldn't matter to anyone. Our kid is going to grow up with 2 parents who are involved in his life, love him, provide for him, and prioritize raising him to be a considerate, responsible, productive member of society. If we fail in doing any of that-- then sure, someone should point that out, and we should listen and possibly change what we're doing. But those should be the only things that matter to anyone else-- if we're doing that, then we're doing our job as parents. 

 While I'm sure over the coming years, there are going to be lots of things that I resolve to do, not to do, or do better as a parent, here's what I'm going to start with. I'm going to stick to my guns. No rationalizations-- for anything-- necessary. Hopefully Kenneth will keep me accountable so I can break this habit, but it wouldn't hurt if you guys helped too. :)

(P.S. Pictures from shower #1 with the Ellises and other more fun stuff coming soon. But I have to grab photos from Ken's computer, etc.)