Wedding Pictures Part 7: Words from the Lord

"God, who created man out of love, also calls him to love-- the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being... their mutual love becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves man. It is good, very good in the Creator's eyes." 

-- Catechism of the Catholic Church, Article 7: The Sacrament of Matrimony #1604*

*********************************************************************************

When we reached the altar, we hugged our parents,

Took our places at the altar for the opening prayer,

Then settled in our seats...

(Um... I promise we were both really happy on our wedding day. I guess we just took our readings VERY seriously. Just don't look at our faces and focus on those pretty Easter lilies.)

To hear Kenneth's sweet cousin Emily, who has opened her house to me/us several times over the last year, give the first reading, speaking words she can probably relate to, having just been married to her husband Dylan about a year and a half ago...

Genesis 2: 18-24

The LORD God said: "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him." So the LORD God formed out of the ground various wild animals and various birds of the air, and he brought them to the man to see what he would call them; whatever the man called each of them would be its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, all the birds of the air, and all the wild animals; but none proved to be the suitable partner for the man. So the LORD God cast a deep sleep on the man, and while he was asleep, he took out one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. The LORD God then built up into a woman the rib that he had taken from the man. When he brought her to the man, the man said: "This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; This one shall be called 'woman,' for out of 'her man' this one has been taken." That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.

We continued with the responsorial psalm, #145: "The LORD is good to all/and compassionate toward all his works..." And the congregation responded,  "I will praise your name for ever, my king and my God."

We progressed to the second reading,  Colossians 3:12-17, my favorite from the entire Bible, and read by the best person in the world for it-- my humble, kind-hearted, genuine, and totally family-oriented Uncle John.

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

If those aren't words to live by, in your marriage and elsewhere, then I don't know what is.

Before we could move to the homily, and the rest of the ceremony, there was one more reading, the Gospel, read by Fr. Dick.

Matthew 19:3-6

Some Pharisees approached him, and tested him, saying, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?"  He said in reply, "Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?' So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate."

The reading is fairly legalistic-- no flowery love-dovey language here-- but it certainly lays things out very plainly. Marriage is forever-- according to the Catholic church, and for us. And that's how we look at our marriage-- divorce is not an option. 

Now, what Fr. Dick had to say about it in his homily, I have no clue. I know I listened during his sermon... but I really don't remember at all what he said. However, I do remember how earnest he looked while he said it, and how he spoke it while mostly looking at us.

And, since the others weren't all that flattering of Fr. Dick, here's a fantastic picture of our priest. Would you believe he's going to be retiring soon? I'm not going to put his age online, but he's about 20 years older than he looks! 

Up next, rings, vows, and if I'm feeling productive, the first time I cry in during our ceremony.  I promise the reception will be more lively postings. We had an open bar... and lots of fun pictures to prove it. 

Exciting News!

After a year and a half of trying to get a promotion at his job working for REI, and after trying to get that promotion in 20 different cities, he finally got a supervisor position! The best part is that we don't even have to move, because he'll be working only 40 minutes from where we are living now! He was applying to jobs everywhere that had a good grad school for me; you name it, he applied for a promotion there-- Austin, DC, Charleston, Tuscan, Boston, San Francisco, LA, Portland, NY--- he applied for a promotion everywhere because it just didn't look like it was going to work out or be a good move for him to stay in Seattle.

Then, a couple weeks ago, this spot in Lynnwood opened up. We really didn't have high hopes for it since it was a very competitive pool of applicants and he had not indicated that it was a first choice for us (we didn't know it was even a possibility to stay in Seattle before this). BUT HE STILL GOT IT!

After the wedding, this process has been the most stressful part of our lives together. So much of our life was on hold because we just didn't know where or when things would finally work out for his promotion. We had to plan our lives like we were going to live in Seattle forever, while also assuming that we would have 2-4 weeks to move when the time came... wherever that was.  So hooray! With the wedding and this promotion, it feels like we can start the next chapter in our lives. :)

60 Years

60 years

7 children

15 grandchildren

14 great-grandchildren (I might be forgetting someone)

dozens of cats and dogs

hundreds of baseball games later...

Last weekend, Kenneth and I went to California to celebrate my grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary. I'm totally blown away by the idea that my grandparents have been married so long, and it's now our goal-- to be celebrating our 60 happy years of marriage in 2070.

Here's to my grandparents and that wonderful family they created!

Grandpa and Grandma Johnston head out on their honeymoon (at least that's what Aunt Michelle and I decided this was a picture of). 

Grandma and Grandpa now, with my dad and step-mom. 

I don't know that I've ever seen Grandma look so cute!  She got her hair done, a new pantsuit, and pretty pearls all for the party. Looks like Grandpa is happy about it too. ;)   

Dad and Christine celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary June 30, so both couples have big milestones to celebrate. 

Granted, I've probably only become really aware of their relationship in the last 15 years, but it's been remarkable watching how Grandma and Grandpa have grown even closer in that time. The first time I remember Grandma and Grandpa being really affectionate with each other was when Grandpa had his triple (or was it quadruple? I don't remember) bypass surgery. Grandma held his hand right up to the point when he was wheeled into the operating room. Another time when I was visiting, Grandpa showed me how he finally had a diamond put in Grandma's ring--- he was so proud, or Grandpa showing me a pair of earrings he got for Grandma for Valentine's Day. 

They've been through a lot in the last couple years even.  Grandpa's health continues to decline (he has advanced Parkinson's disease, diabetes, other health issues),  Grandma has had a pacemaker inserted and other health issues of her own, they have had a son battle (and continue to battle) cancer, two children have open heart surgeries, the death of a sibling... but also the weddings of grandchildren and the birth of more great-grandchildren.  

One last anecdote on their marriage: Grandpa often says that the key to a long lasting marriage is to forget to wear your hearing aid. But this weekend, he had some genuine advice to Kenneth and I: "If you have a disagreement, don't say anything, just sleep on it. If you still feel like you should say something the next day, go ahead. But wait until then." Because of his Parkinson's, it's getting hard for Grandpa to talk, but he made a point of making sure he told me his best piece of advice for marriages.

Highlights from the party: Hearing the song the guitarist from their favorite local band wrote for them about their marriage and parenting, the toasts from my aunts and uncles, getting my own copy of some of their wedding photos, spending time with family... and karaoke in the hotel bar afterwards. Hehe. Here are some pictures.

Check out Grandma's polka dot wedding dress! So cute! 

(I could have scanned in a picture of this instead of using this picture I took of the poster, but I'm lazy.)

Johnston family tree. The extended family are pictured on the lemons... make of that what you will. 

The cakes were decked out in Dodger colors!

Me, Alexis, and my cousin Jenny's daughter, Cassidy. Me and my Tia, (Aunt Diana. Her son, my cousin Ben, is getting married in a few weeks!)

Dad and Christine, with their daughters and son-in-laws (2 now!)

BTW-- Natalie, in the sky blue dress in the middle, MADE her dress. How cool is she?

And what you were waiting for-- Sara and I doing karaoke. For the record, I had more fans than Sara. Although Sara probably deserves more points than I do for effort and use of props.

Sara tackles the music break with some sweet air guitar action. I awkwardly dance.

Wedding Pictures Part 6: The Processional

First-- I went through and edited our photos with iPhoto, so pictures should look loads better now. Yay!

So, on with the rest of this post. It's about our "non-traditional" (but actually quite orthodox) processional. It' s a long one, but I guarantee that at least reading about the Perasas will make it worthwhile. (Scroll down to the long quote if you'd like to skip right to it.)

The Catholic Church doesn't give couples much room for creativity in their wedding ceremonies. You won't see this happen at a Catholic Church. But, the Church did give us a couple of options for our processional. One, that is the traditional one-- the one that you've probably seen at every other wedding. The other, the one we did. We chose option two for lots of reasons:

1. I'm a big ol' feminist. (No one is shocked by this, right?) I know the symbolism has changed over the years, and nowadays, a dad walking his daughter down the aisle is just a way to honor the dad for raising the daughter and supporting her over the years. Yet, I still couldn't get over where symbolism of it comes from... I just couldn't get past the visual of my dad "handing me off" in marriage. (Btw-- Catholics don't have that "Who gives this woman..." part of the wedding ceremony. This also warms my feminist heart.)
2. I didn't want my moms to be excluded. My step-mom and mom both had a big part in raising me, and I didn't want them to be left out of this experience. And then, if they were all to walk me down the aisle, how does it work with dad, mom, and step-mom? And my mom's husband... how would that fit in? This was not something I was looking forward to figuring out. 
3. I didn't want it just to be about me. The processional is supposed to be a big deal for most brides-- that's why the congregation usually rises at that point in the ceremony, right? But I wanted the focus to be on both of us, not just me, and also on our families and friends. 
4. The Church actually encourages the version we did over the other kind. The reasoning is that it honors both sets of parents (not just the bride's), it symbolizes the combining of families and the start of a new one, and it emphasizes that the bride and groom are the ministers of the sacrament and they give themselves to each other. There's more here if you're curious. I loved the symbolism of this option. AND-- best part--- both of our parents would be included, not just mine. Kenneth's mom and dad would get as much prominence as my parents. How cool!
5. Finally, this couple sealed the deal. Mr. Perasa had been diagnosed with a quickly moving terminal cancer, but he went on the radio via StoryCorps to talk one more time about his love for his wife. Here's what the Perasas had to say (get some tissues ready):

"Ms. PERASA: The illness is not hard on me; it's just, you know, the finality of it - and him, he goes along like a trooper.

Mr. PERASA: Listen, even downhill a car doesn't roll unless it's pushed and you're giving me a great push. The deal of it is, we try to give each other hope and not hope that I'll live, hope that she'll do well after I pass, hope that people will support her, hope that if she meets somebody and likes 'em, she marries 'em.

Ms. PERASA: Yeah, he has everything planned, you know.

Mr. PERASA: I'm workin' on it. She said it was her call. She wants to walk out behind the casket alone. I guess that's the way to do it, because when we were married, you know how your brother takes you down, your father takes you down? She said, well, I don't know which of my brothers to walk in with, I don't want to offend anybody. I says, I got a solution. I said, you walk in with me, you walk out with me. And the other day, I said who's gonna walk down the aisle with you behind the casket? You know, to support her. And she said nobody; I walked in with you alone. I'm walkin' out with you alone."'

And so, like the Perasas, we walked down the aisle alone. 

I'm grateful that Ken was on board for this. He really left this part of the wedding to me, and when I laid out why I wanted to do the 2nd processional option, he didn't mind not seeing me walk down the aisle towards him because he knew just how much it meant to me to walk in together. (God bless him!)

On our wedding day, I loved holding Kenneth’s hands and having a (very brief) moment to take a deep breath together before we walked down the aisle.  It felt so right to go down the aisle, the two of us hand in hand, starting our wedding ceremony TOGETHER.  The thought that kept going through my head was “Yes! This is the way we are supposed to be always, entering every big event life will throw at us – children, sickness, new adventures, grief, a home of our own, all of it-- together.”  It was wonderful, and it was just what I hoped it would be.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

But here’s what I didn’t anticipate: how I felt moments before, when the rest of the wedding party had gone down the aisle and it was just us and our parents lined up in the vestibule of the church. 

I was hit with the idea that it wasn’t just our parents’ roles in raising us, and helping us make our wedding possible that was honored in this procession, although that was the point.  Rather, they displayed the legacy marriage creates, and were visible reminders of what we had ahead of us.  When Ken’s parents walked down the aisle, my mind was on their 30+ year marriage, and what it would be like when Ken and I got there (seems so far away!). When my dad and stepmom walked in, I thought of their marriage, and ran through my memories of their wedding 20 years ago. When my mom and her husband walked in, their 4 years of marriage, and how my mom has set an example of what being a newlywed should be like. And with the thought of our grandparents’ long marriages also in mind, I caught my breath and felt my heart swell.  What a powerful thing that was to witness, to see our parents symbolize the creative force that love is—the institution of marriage, and the families that spring from it. And we were about to follow our parents into our own marriage, and the creation of our own new family. I know this post is getting to be so darn sappy, but watching our parents be sent down the aisle, husband and wife/father and mother was one of the most emotionally powerful moments of my life.  

I know my parents probably would've preferred some other option (certainly my dad would've-- sorry, dad!), but that moment in the back of the church made it all worthwhile. 

(NOTE: This is not to say that the traditional processional doesn’t work beautifully for other people. Who walks you down the aisle is a personal choice and what works for me may not work for everyone; I'm not knocking anyone else's wedding in this. Just explaining why we did what we did, and how it all felt. I'm sure for others, the more traditional procession can bring up similarly powerful emotions, it just wouldn't have felt that way to me.)  

Wedding Pictures Part 5: Family Portraits

As I said before, some didn't come out very well. But, they still show who from our families were there, and a few show groups of family that have never been together before in such large numbers before.

Hanks

Hebert

It makes me really sad that this picture didn't come out better. Some people are COMPLETELY blocked. It's not very clear. There are shadows on some faces. {sigh}

McKenny-- Grandma Johnston's side of the family. Grandma Johnston is originally from Seattle, so some of her cousins and their children still live in the area and were able to make it. Some of them hadn't seen each other in DECADES.

Johnston

Ellis

Another family photo with people blocked. {sigh} Sorry Michelle and Aunt Laurie-- We have other pictures of you both! 

Schuch

Wedding Pictures Part 4: More About Family- Family in The Bridal Party

We had some wonderful people help us with the ceremony, including a whole lot of family. In fact, everyone in the bridal party or part of the ceremony was family, except 2 of the groomsmen and the priest, and they were all family friends. Here's a few pictures of them in action in their roles, or other pictures of them when a picture of their part of the ceremony wasn't taken.

Grandparents. They weren't technically part of the bridal party, but they are pretty important. None of our grandparents are in the greatest health anymore, so the fact that so many of them were able to come to the wedding was a BIG DEAL. Our photographers were wonderful and I don't regret going with Jaqui and her husband Travis, but I must say, the fact that they didn't capture the processional, recessional, or family portraits well is disappointing. I'm supplementing this with other grandparent shots instead, but just picture all these people heading down the aisle before things got started.

(Only picture from our photographer of a grandparent going down the aisle caught by our photographer)

Kenneth's parents, brother and grandparents:

Bridesmaids/sisters-- all 5 of them. Aren't they lovely?

James, Kenneth's brother, was as great as a best-man as he is as a brother.

Our parents... in a bad picture. Blurry. Shadow on my dad's face. {sigh} There is a better one, but it's horizontal and Blogger cuts off the edges of horizontal pictures sometimes and I didn't want to lose anyone in this picture.

Kenneth's cousins Monica and Erin were our altar servers.

My uncle John was our first reader. No pictures of him in action, unfortunately. {sigh}

Kenneth's cousin Emily was our second reader.

My Uncle Chad read the Prayers of the Faithful. 

My Aunt Mary, Uncle Bruce, and Cousin Elizabeth brought up the gifts (communion wafers and wine before consecration). 

Kenneth's Aunt Mary (and Uncle Pete-- no picture of him in action either) was one of our Eucharistic Ministers.

Up next: Family portraits. Just as a warning, some of them didn't turn out well, but I'm sharing them anyway since they're the best we've got.