The Deciders

Kenneth and I have the same religion, similar values, similar priorities, and the same long-term financial goals. We have some differences too-- decorating styles (Kenneth's eagle bookends vs. my victorian fashion prints), food preferences (I'm soy friendly, he is soy hostile. He likes beef, I'm Bessie averse), and of course, as we've figured out during the wedding planning process, we have different styles of decision making.

I make decisions quickly, and mostly on my own. Case in point: I decided on my dress during my first wedding dress shopping trip, the first week of our engagement. Easy peasy, done in a day.  Sure, sometimes my decisions don't yield the best results, but 9 times out of 10, things work out perfect or close enough for me to live with. Furthermore, I don't always follow the quick decision route either, but quick, gut-based decisions are my go-to kind of decisions. There's usually solid logic behind it, really, it's just that my gut works quicker than my brain. I'm a gut decision maker, and using this and other instances as my proof, I'm thinking my gut is pretty accurate.* I'm what you'd call, a decider.

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As for Kenneth-- well, he's a decider too. But a different kind. He weighs all the options objectively, puts lots of careful consideration into thinking through the consequences and rewards of each option, talks it over with a few trusty advisors and mentors, then goes for it. He's the kind of guy you'd want to be president someday. I'd put an example here, but it's late and an example he'd be ok with me sharing just isn't coming to mind. In the end, his method is trusty, reliable, and by far the wisest. Just not my style.

Normally, this is fine. We each go about our day making lots of decisions and everything's peachy-keen. But when our decision making styles collide, as they do often in wedding planning...

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Ok, it usually doesn't never looks like that. But it is a challenge. We're working on creating a decision making style that's new and different, uniquely us.  Our wedding is the guinea pig... Oooo, we have to choose a baker to make our cake. How do we go about it-- is our priority the cost or the taste? Hey, we need to decide on a rehearsal venue. What factor do we need to talk over first-- the personality of the caterer or the aesthetics of the venue?  Not that we didn't include each other in decision making before, but this is a whole new ball-game.  It really is OUR life now. We're co-pilots steering us down a new, unfamiliar road, rather than strolling hand-in-hand along parallel paths as we were before we were engaged. We're slower at making decisions together, but we're inexperienced and new to this. Like a toddler learning to walk, we can't be expected to make decisions together perfectly or quickly--yet. But before you know it, we'll be running with the best of them. And then, watch out, America. A couple of new deciders are in town.

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*Although any scientist worth their salt would punch more holes in that proof than a slice of Swiss cheese.