I feel so blessed that this year has been a good one for my
family. Ken, Xavier, and I are all healthy and doing well. We bought a house. I
started law school. Ken got two promotions and started working at headquarters
(which means normal hours, and weekends off!). Xavier continues to amaze us as he learns and grows, giving us glimpses of who he is going to be. Our
life is very busy, but it’s a good one.
This year, the only tragedy that touched my family was the
death of my stepmother’s father. And even then, I don’t believe that tragedy is
the right word. He had been fighting a recurring form of leukemia off and on
for almost 10 years, and had finally decided it was time to stop fighting and
let nature take its course. We were prepared and knew that his death would
occur in the fall. More importantly, he was prepared, and died in his home, alone
with his wife. How he wanted it. Death isn't easy, but this is how death is supposed to be—in old age, at peace with God, leaving
behind children, grandchildren and
great-grandchildren, after a long career you enjoyed, in a home filled with
reminders of a productive, well-lived life.
Since becoming a mother, when I hear of random shootings,
like the one in Sandy Hook Elementary, my heart goes out to the victims and
their families. I pray for the lives prematurely ended. But more and more, I
also think of the mother of the murderer. The grief she must feel in losing a
child—to madness, and usually, to both madness and suicide. No matter how black
your child’s heart, you’re still a mother, and you must still grieve with that
loss. I think of the shame she probably feels. And the guilt. And the questions
she must be asking— “If only I had seen the signs, could I have stopped this?” And
then, how do you move on with your life when your son is responsible for
something like this? So, my heart breaks for the families of the shooters, just as much as it does for the victims and their families.
At Christmas, especially this Christmas, I think often of
Mary. This year, I’m thinking about how very pregnancy is a venture into the
unknown— to give life to another is to accept that you cannot control the path
that life will take. Only God knows the path He sets for each of us. Mary knew
that the little life she carried in her womb would not be an ordinary one, but
could she have seen how His story would unfold? Could she have anticipated that,
years later, her precious Son would be executed—and that He did not choose to
avoid it, but accepted it as part of God’s plan? And that she would be able to
do nothing to stop it or change it? That her Son would be the ultimate sacrifice for humanity? I can't help but think she must have asked God "Why my son? Can't it happen another way?"
...
And, this year, I’m thinking more about the next part to the
story. The resurrection. Jesus died. Mary experienced the loss of a child. But
then, her son conquered death and rose again. Through His death, new life was
given to us.
I hope that’s something we can all take with us in the
coming year.
I spent a lot of time meditating on this specific part of the Christmas story this Christmas time...
Luke 1:26-38, 46-55
Announcement of the Birth of Jesus.*
In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God
to a town of Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man
named Joseph, of the house of David, and the virgin’s name was Mary.
And coming to her, he said, “Hail, favored one! The Lord
is with you.”
But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered
what sort of greeting this might be. Then the angel said to her, “Do not
be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.
Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son,
and you shall name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called Son of the Most
High,* and the Lord God will give him the
throne of David his father, and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever, and of
his kingdom there will be no end.”
But Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I
have no relations with a man?”*
And the angel said to her in reply, “The holy Spirit
will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.
Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God.
And behold, Elizabeth, your relative, has also conceived* a
son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren; for
nothing will be impossible for God.”
Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May
it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her….
The Canticle of Mary.
And Mary said:*
“My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord;
my spirit rejoices in God my savior.
For he has looked upon his handmaid’s lowliness;
behold, from now on will all ages call me blessed.
The Mighty One has done great things for me,
and holy is his name.
His mercy is from age to age
to those who fear him.
He has shown might with his arm,
dispersed the arrogant of mind and heart.
He has thrown down the rulers from their thrones
but lifted up the lowly.
The hungry he has filled with good things;
the rich he has sent away empty.
He has helped Israel his servant,
remembering his mercy,
according to his promise to our fathers,
to Abraham and to his descendants forever.”
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