In Which the Deciders Finally Make a Decision

When we last left our hero and heroine in the saga to discover the perfect first dance song, our hero and heroine were scratching their heads while wading through a sea of options. After mulling over options again... and again... and again... and again... and even discovering a new nugget of possibility, three paths began to emerge.

First, Israel Kama-who-can-even-say-his-name?* with his beautiful rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World. Dreamy, hopeful lyrics coupled with a laid back vibe. It was definitely a strong contender, but our hero and heroine needed help to picture how dancing to it would look like, or how to cut a 4+ minute song down to a more maneagable length of time. Could the happy couple resist the thought of elegant sways to this island inspired tune?

Next, Can't Take my Eyes Off of You, by Frankie Valli* and the Four Seasons. This is, in fact, "the song" of our valiant adventurers in dancing-land. And who can help but smile remembering Heath Ledger's impressive version in Ten Things I Hate About You? With an upbeat, peppy feel, the mood was juuuuuust right. But the beat changes half way through-- which means extra dance lessons when time and the budget are tight with only two months to go. Would it be worthwhile if it means dancing to their song?

Finally, a new option. Ray LaMontagne's* Best Thing. His soulful, rough-around-the-edges voice is coupled with simple, sweet, and to-the-point lyrics. And the unexpected elements of trumpets at the start and gospel singers in the background are fun and very dance-able. But this song is rapidly gaining in popularity as a first dance song (remember our hero and heroine are seeking something a bit uncommon). It also lacks the sentimentality of Can't Take My Eyes Off of You. Could it be that this song is not in fact, the best thing to twist the plot of this tale?

Still unable to make a decision before the first dance lesson, our protagonists enlisted the help of the first dance experts. The experts dismissed one immediately, then demonstrated dances to the other options. One was clearly the winner and the deciders settled on a first dance song at last. Rejoicing was heard throughout the land... yet the residents of Pick-A-First-Dance-Song-Already!-Land couldn't help but wonder... well, what was the decision?

You'll have to find out at the wedding-- any guesses? (A few people know already-- no telling anyone if Brianna has already blabbed to you!)

Source for pictures: Israel K., Frankie V., Ray L.

The Deciders

Kenneth and I have the same religion, similar values, similar priorities, and the same long-term financial goals. We have some differences too-- decorating styles (Kenneth's eagle bookends vs. my victorian fashion prints), food preferences (I'm soy friendly, he is soy hostile. He likes beef, I'm Bessie averse), and of course, as we've figured out during the wedding planning process, we have different styles of decision making.

I make decisions quickly, and mostly on my own. Case in point: I decided on my dress during my first wedding dress shopping trip, the first week of our engagement. Easy peasy, done in a day.  Sure, sometimes my decisions don't yield the best results, but 9 times out of 10, things work out perfect or close enough for me to live with. Furthermore, I don't always follow the quick decision route either, but quick, gut-based decisions are my go-to kind of decisions. There's usually solid logic behind it, really, it's just that my gut works quicker than my brain. I'm a gut decision maker, and using this and other instances as my proof, I'm thinking my gut is pretty accurate.* I'm what you'd call, a decider.

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As for Kenneth-- well, he's a decider too. But a different kind. He weighs all the options objectively, puts lots of careful consideration into thinking through the consequences and rewards of each option, talks it over with a few trusty advisors and mentors, then goes for it. He's the kind of guy you'd want to be president someday. I'd put an example here, but it's late and an example he'd be ok with me sharing just isn't coming to mind. In the end, his method is trusty, reliable, and by far the wisest. Just not my style.

Normally, this is fine. We each go about our day making lots of decisions and everything's peachy-keen. But when our decision making styles collide, as they do often in wedding planning...

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Ok, it usually doesn't never looks like that. But it is a challenge. We're working on creating a decision making style that's new and different, uniquely us.  Our wedding is the guinea pig... Oooo, we have to choose a baker to make our cake. How do we go about it-- is our priority the cost or the taste? Hey, we need to decide on a rehearsal venue. What factor do we need to talk over first-- the personality of the caterer or the aesthetics of the venue?  Not that we didn't include each other in decision making before, but this is a whole new ball-game.  It really is OUR life now. We're co-pilots steering us down a new, unfamiliar road, rather than strolling hand-in-hand along parallel paths as we were before we were engaged. We're slower at making decisions together, but we're inexperienced and new to this. Like a toddler learning to walk, we can't be expected to make decisions together perfectly or quickly--yet. But before you know it, we'll be running with the best of them. And then, watch out, America. A couple of new deciders are in town.

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*Although any scientist worth their salt would punch more holes in that proof than a slice of Swiss cheese.

In 100 days (or "A Confession")

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In 100 days, we're going to be Mr & Mrs... but Mr. & Mrs. what?

Last weekend, over drinks with a couple friends at City Grill in Portland (yay for happy hour!), I took a deep breath, and made a confession. "I'm going to change my last name." I knew I was taking a risk saying this to one of my friends. You have to understand-- she's not just any friend-- she's the friend to whom I gave my copy of the Feminine Mystique. We bond over our feminism, competition, and MUN. Clearly, I had some explaining to do. So just how did this self-proclaimed feminist decide to change her name?

1. 
   
   
    To be honest, I've never really loved my last name. Or, rather, I'm not totally wild about my name coupled with my last name-- they're well enough on their own. Maybe because of that, I've always felt like my identity was far more closely tied to my first name, so I don't feel like I'm losing any part of myself by changing my last name.
   
   
2. 
   
   
   Sooooo....I'm not actually planning on changing my last name as I am tacking on another last name. My name will become Brianna Nicole J H. Why have just 1 middle name when I can have 2? Lots of women make their maiden name their middle name when they take their husband's last name, but I like my middle name. And maybe it's pride or something but I just couldn't bring myself to drop my last name entirely.
   
   
3. 
   
   
   It's kind of exciting to change my last name. I'm starting a new chapter in my life, and often new chapters are associated with changes to our name. We get a degree, or start a career in a certain field and suddenly our names get things like "Ph.D." and "Reverand" attached to them. So why not a name change when we start a new life with someone? I'm all in favor of those couples where both partners change their name. But that's not something that's interesting to Kenneth, so I'm not pushing it. Besides... what would he change his name to? Would he become a J-H or a H-J? Would we switch last names and take each other's? Would we come up with some fantastic combination of the letters in our names? My head hurts with all the possibilities.
   
   
4. 
   
   
   I'm young. If I were older and had established myself more in business as Brianna J, then I would have other feelings I'm sure. But since I haven't gone too far in my career yet, I don't think I'll confuse too many people by going by another name, but just in case...
   
   
5. 
   
   
   When necessary, during the first year or 2, I can hyphenate when I feel like it might be helpful for people get that Brianna J = Brianna J-H = Brianna H. Granted, legally, my name won't be the hyphenated one, but how often at work do people ask you if the name you sign your emails with is, in fact, your legal name? Didn't think it was that often. So, for a while, my name will be J-H, and just when people get used to it, I'll drop Johnston. Keep people on their toes and all that. :)
   
   

It wasn't enough to make my friends happy, but that's ok sometimes. I'm happy with my decision that in 100 days, when we see you at the church, we'll become Mr. & Mrs. H.  (Y'know, except for those rare times when we're  Mr. H & Mrs. J-H.)

The Clock is Ticking

Not a biological clock though. Phew! Through December, it seemed like everyone kept asking "Are you ready for Christmas?" Great question normally, but not a great one to a bride. Why? Because no one asks it to make me feel stressed, so I know that was NOT the intention from anyone, buuuuuuuuuuuuuut... well, this might give you an idea of how I internally interpreted the question:

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See, I know no one meant to come off that way, but Christmas was at the end of December. What is else is at the end of December? Our 3.5 months to go mark. Eek! Our to-do list on the fridge is still  4 pages long. And on our Knot.com checklist:

All those clocks are also saying we're behind. BUT, we're making progress and I crossed off some of those tasks earlier today. Start crafting invitation wording? DONE. Start program wording? DONE. Research flowers? DONE. Deciding on men will wear? DONE. Find out when Pre-Cana Classes starts and sign up? DONE. Update registry post-showers? DONE. (Sort of. More on that later.) Slowly, setting up the apartment is falling on the priority list as the space becomes more livable and the wedding is getting back to it's rightful place as number one priority. About time 'cause the wedding was starting to get jealous.

Kenneth Takes After a Great American Icon of His Own

Lest you think Brianna is the only one taking after fashion icons of the mid-twentieth century, Kenneth will be doing some of that as well.

Check out John F. Kennedy's wedding attire.  He looks like the dapper gentleman that he was, right? Yeah, that's what we thought too. So, like JFK, Kenneth will be wearing a morning suit for our morning wedding. No pictures of him in one since he didn't try one on before deciding on it. (Did you know men don't try on tuxes? They just pick an ensemble they like out of a catalog and call it a day. I had no idea...) I tried convincing him to wear gloves and top hat and carry a cane, but no such luck. (Yeah, I guess it would've been too much. But when in your life can you get away with these things if not at your wedding?)  He's going to look just like JFK...  hopefully our marriage is a little better than theirs though.

Double your pleasure, double your fun...

Especially when you get to have 2 showers and 1 wedding!

The first shower was a joint one for Kenneth's cousin and I. She's expecting the family's first child in that generation, so it's pretty exciting. Since the invite mentioned welcoming the two new members of the family, (Me and Baby C), there was some confusion. For the record, I'm not pregnant... but Megan is. Ken's aunt was so sweet to make a diaper cake in my wedding colors. Meshed it all pretty well, I thought. :)

Since I had no bridesmaids at the Seattle shower, Kenneth's cousin filled in making my bouquet.

Ester came out for the shower. She filled in on another bridesmaid duty by being my note taker while I opened gifts.

Kenneth's mom was sweet enough to come to BOTH showers!

First look at the Portland shower. Kenneth's aunt and cousin hosted my family-- and that's a lot to take on with a family like mine-- big, loud, and full of kids. :) Here's my cake. Chocolate with raspberry filling, since Kenneth doesn't like fruit, so here was our big chance for raspberry flavor in the cake. YUM!

Our 2 teams hard at work in the toilet paper wedding dress game: adults vs. kids.

Despite the lovely details on my bridsesmaid/sister's outfit, clearly the kids came out as the winners in this game. How could they not with that Michelle Obama inspired number?

Playing with my cousin's adorable daughter. Cuter than a cabbage patch kid, this one is.

Bridesmaid/sister Sara helps me show off the beautiful lace edged table cloth and napkins my parents brought back from Italy for me.  Clearly Sara has more of a knack for modeling than I do with those Vanna White inspired arm poses she's doing.

I got the kids involved by asking them to help me open gifts. Lesson learned: Tell kids to be gentle before they start, or the wrapping paper will fly.

Before we left, I got a picture of me with my moms-- step-mom, FMIL, and mom. The best gift was having all my moms and all my sisters in the same room. What a blessing! All thanks to Kenneth's family for throwing 2 beautiful showers!

My Bouquet Part 3: Little Girl Dreams Re-visited

When I was 10 or 11 years old, Mom bought me a book on American fashion icons. It was full of spreads showing the Kennedys walking to JFK's inauguration, Alice Roosevelt's hats, and my favorite-- Grace Kelly's wedding. (You can see details from her engagement and wedding here.) All of my little girl dreams of what my wedding dress would look like came from her elegant gown. Naturally, when I pulled that book of fashion icons out tonight, I flipped through looking for that wedding I used dream about when I was younger.

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All that dreamy 200 year old lace. The collar and long sleeves make it modest, but so regal and romantic. And that headpiece-- not quite a tiara or crown, but making it still evokes her new role as a princess.

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And here's the whole dress. But wait. What's that in her hands? Let's get a closer look.

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A missal!

All I remembered from the pictures I saw long ago were the gorgeous dress, (ok, and the bridesmaid bouquets, the beautiful church...) I hadn't noticed that pretty little prayer book in lieu of a bouquet! This is after I decided Grandma's prayer book would be part of my "bouquet."  Not that I thought I was a trendsetter. But I'm definitely not now. I think that's ok though if I get to have a little piece of a princess wedding that I dreamed of when I was 10, without even trying or planning for it.